I went out with my friends last night to celebrate our last day of training. Nothing too eventful, there. Of course we wandered around Shinjuku looking for a place to have drinks. All the "foreigner" bars...and by foreigner, I mean English folks, were packed with Japanese people. You would have thought it was a Friday or Saturday night. THIS is the city that never sleeps! We ended up at some bar on the third floor of some building. I attempted to order a non-meat dish (niku ni) or a fish dish (sakana) and ended up with some huge dinosaur toe-nail looking thing. The guy said it was fish but I am telling you, this thing was something NO AMERICAN has EVER laid eyes on before. It tasted like a mix between fish and turkey (it even had light and dark meat, the dark meat tasted like turkey). The texture was even a mix of sword fish steak and turkey, depending on what part you were eating it from. We figured I might be eating whale. I mean, even the bone that it came on was HUGE and not fish like. I think I ate whale spine. Who knows but they got a whole different species of fish out here if that was REALLY fish.
I made it home by midnight and found TWO new roommates. One was a girl named Helen, and the other was a bug named MR. GIGANTIC COCKROACH! This thing was the size of a small mouse and was wearing gym shoes. I never realized how fast those things were. Well, Scabby Knees had warned me that we had cockroaches and she had showed me where the bug spray was. She also told me that the stuff kills cockroaches in a matter of seconds. SO I grabbed the spray and took off after this cockroach who turboed around the kitchen like an Olympic sprinter. I was hot on his tail, spraying like a maniac all the while. Eventually, the spray started taking effect and he flipped over on his back and started doing this long, slow, mellow-dramatic death scene. His tentacles and long frog legs were flailing wildly, then slower and slower. I started to feel bad. But I GRABBED THE BROOM AND THE DUST PAN AND SWEPT HIM INTO IT, THEN TOSSED HIM OUTSIDE (yOU MAY BE ASKING YOURSELF WHY I AM WRITING IN ALL CAPITALS, WELL, I HATE THESE FRICKING KEYBOARDS BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS WRITTEN IN JAPANESE AND IF YOU HIT ONE KEY, YOU CAN't read the board to undo what you did> SEE, NOW IT TYPED IN LOWER CASE BECAUSE MY SHIFT KEY GETS STUCK SO WHEN i SHIFT TO CAPITALIZE, IT STAYS IN LOWER CASE BECAUSE THE SHIFT KEY STICKS!!!!!) i hate this thing, IT'S LIKE IT`S SCHIZOPHRENIC!!!!! I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S DRIVING YOU NUTS, BUT IT IS ME!!! bELEIVE ME, i HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING TO GET THIS TO STOP!
aNYWAY, SO THIS MORNING, MY ROOMMATE GETS UP AND SHE IS PETRIFIED OF BUGS, ESPECIALLY COCKROACHES. sHE WALKS DOWN TO 7-ELEVEN TO MAKE A CALL AND WHEN SHE GETS BACK, SHE MENTIONS THAT THERE IS A COCKROACH OUTSIDE OUR DOOR ON HIS BACK AND HE IS STILL KICKING. THIS THING NEVER DIED LAST NIGHT! HE'S STILL DYING THE LONG SLOW MELLOW-DRAMATIC DEATH OUTSIDE! sO WE GRAB THE BROOM AND DECIDE TO SWEEP HIM OFF THE WALK AREA, AND WHILE WE ARE AT IT, WE DECIDE TO SWEEP OFF THE GOLOPTIC CICADA THAT IS ALSO PERCHED OUTSIDE OUR DOOR. THIS THING IS THE SIZE OF A SMALL BIRD, NO JOKE! WELL, THE COCKROACH GOES WITHOUT A FIGHT, BUT THIS CICADA HAS A MIND OF HIS OWN. i only got one good sweep in before he started squawking AND SCREECHING AND FLIPPING ALL OVER THE PLACE WITH HIS BIG BIRD-LIKE WINGS. wE BOTH SCREAMED AND RAN INSIDE THE APARTMENT. i GUESS WE WOULD HAVE TO GET ACCUSTOMED TO OUR TEMPORARY NEIGHBOR BECAUSE i THINK i WAS LUCKY TO ESCAPE WITH MY LIFE.
OK, THIS COMPUTER IS PISSING ME OFF. i' M GOING TO MY USUAL PLACE. THIS MAY BE CONTINUED...
(Me and my mystery fish dish...check out the bone on my plate)
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