OK, I have a HO-LOTA stuff to tell but I am short on time so we will see how far we get...
I am still suffering from a slight hangover from last night which also does not help with the writing process. Also, this keyboard is pissin' me off. You have to press down really hard on each key like an old typewriter which takes away from the fun of typing when you are doing "stream of conscious" typing. Ok, shut-up already, Rachel, and get on with it...
Yesterday was my other day off. Meredith also had the day off so we decided to go exploring. Our INTENTIONS were to go to the Emperial Palace but things never turn out as I plan so we ended up in Ebisu wandering the streets on a wild goose chase for a Mexican restaurant called La Casalitas. Mexican restaurants are hard to come by here so we researched this stuff on the internet in Shinjuku before setting off to find it. OUr plan was to find Mexican, then go to the Palace. Well, HOURS later, after MANY wrong directions from several Japanese people, we stumbled upon the joint. We were ELATED...and STARVING. I was really looking forward to a big basket of chips and salsa.
HI, can we get chips and salsa to start?
We don't have salsa.
WHAT? That's like a Japanese restaurant not having rice. OK, fine. Can we get guacamole then?
Sure.
I like guacamole so I am down but not out. Five minutes later the guy comes back with our SIX CHIPS and guacamole. I am not kidding. Meredith had 3 chips and I had the other 3 chips. Don't cry for me yet...you haven't seen the bill...
OK, after this generous serving of 3 chips and guac, I still manage to have room left in my belly for a cheese taco. The guy came back with a soft taco shell with a square of half-melted cheese lying in the middle. Where is the lettuce, tomato, and sour cream, you ask? Hiding out with the salsa, perhaps? Meredith had a cheese enchilada which brought our bill total to a whopping...$28 BUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SIX CHIPS, A SQUIRT OF GUAC, A SQUARE OF CHEESE, A SOFT TACO SHELL, AND AN ENCHILADA...TWENTY EIGHT BUCKS!!! If ever I had the inkling to dine-and-dash, THIS was the time. But I didn't, we just picked our chins off the ground, paid the bill, and then bitched about it all the way home. To add insult to injury, we missed seeing the Emperial Palace for that "feast." Afterwards, we walked around Ebisu, it was a very cool place with all kinds of interesting shops and the streets felt like you were in Europe. After shopping, we decided to head back home and change and head out for a night on the town. That ended up being quite an eventful evening. We went to Ropongi which is known for having a big gaijen population. It took some tricky train and subway hopping, but we found it. Then the big challenge became "Where do people go?" Most clubs are underground so you never know what kind of place you are going into. I told Meredith that we will probably end up going down into some whore hole and have no clue until it is too late. After walking down the block, we found the Hard Rock Cafe of Tokyo. That place was HOPPING. There was no place for us to sit at the bar so we ordered our drinks and stood there for a few minutes when all of a sudden, all the employees started going nuts and the music cranked way-up and one girl jumped up on the stairway banister and started blowing away on her whistle and all the employees started doing some crazy, funky dance and she was the ring leader just going to town on the banister. They played snippets of songs like YMCA while all the wait-staff did their dance and clapped and sang and got groovy. That girl really gave that banister a workout and she never fell! That place was a lot of fun but we had no place to sit and drinks were almost $10 so we had one drink and decided to find a dance club.
The next place we went to was underground and not that hopping. One minute after arriving, we were spotted by a drunk and friendly Japanese man in a cheap suit. His pants were about an inch or two too short. And did I mention that he was missing every other tooth? And the ones he still had were all gold? Yes, that lovely man who attempted to speak very broken English offered to buy us a drink. I declined and eventually he went away. Meredith snapped at me saying that I should let him buy us a drink since they were $9 a piece. I asked her if she really wanted him to be our best friend for the night. She said we could have just pounded the drink and left. No thanks, I'll buy my own. I told her that there would be plenty more creeps coming out of the woodwork as the night wore on and then SHE could accept the offer and be "beholdin' " to someone. We left that place after one drink and walked across the street to a new bar called "Time Out" (which was also underground). Since that was the grand opening, drinks there were only $3 so we decided to check it out. The place was tiny and had about 6 people in it. I was wanting to leave after one cheap drink but Meredith wanted to pound a few, then leave. That detail is important as you will find later on in the story. Eventually, when Meredith went to the bathroom, the one lonely guy in the bar made his way over to me. He said hello and told me I had beautiful hair and asked where I was from yadda yadda yadda. His name was Kevin and he was originally from Boston. He used to live in Japan a few years ago so i asked him where the good dance clubs were. He said that he was going to a club called Lexington Queens after he had a few drinks and said we could come with him if we wanted to go there. Eventually, he wandered away again and talked to some other girls, then he came back and Meredith did a shot with him and they pounded a few drinks and then we decided to go with him to Lexington Queens. And on that note, I will leave you with a few burning questions...WHO PUKED IN THE CAB? WHAT FAMOUS PERSON DID RACHEL MEET ON THE STREETS OF ROPONGI? Until next time!
Love me
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Letters from Japan: 10/25/02 The Amber Chronicles Part 5
Before I start with this one, just wanted to share a
tidbit of interesting info. I was talking with my
students the day that Amber left. I told them about
her train problem and asked if they had heard what
happened with the trains. They said that they had not
heard any news but usually when the trains are held
up, it is because someone has committed suicide on the
train rails. They said that the Chuo line is called
the Suicide line because that is the railway where
most people kill themselves. Miho said that train
suicide is common, even as common as ONCE A WEEK!
That blew my mind! They said that it is mostly
businessmen who do it. I said, "Why don't they just
drink themselves to death?" (Maybe that missing enzyme
prevents alcohol overdose...) What a violent way to
die. Anyway, just thought I would share that
interesting fact with you...HEY! If I gotta hear about
it, SO DO YOU!
Boy, I really set the mood for THIS e-mail...OK, so
Sunday, I muddle through the day and feel like
crawling in bed when I get home but that was Amber's
last night in Japan so I wanted to take her out. I
wanted to take her to the tempura restaurant that
Kazuko and her hubby took me to. They had excellent
maguro (raw tuna) and yummy shrimp tempura. I called
Kazuko to see if she wanted to meet us there but she
already had plans. She was so cute, she kept
apologizing for not being able to meet us for dinner
and meet Amber. So Am and I decided to go by
ourselves...this was going to be a challenge since the
menu is all Japanese script. So we get to the
restaurant and like many other restaurants, it has a
display window with the different dishes displayed in
it. So, genius that I am, I had the idea of writing
down the kanji of the dish that looked the best. This
way, we could just show it to the waitress and we
would know exactly what we were getting. So we copied
down the kanji of a shrimp tempura dish with miso
soup, rice, maguro, and some other mystery dish. We
showed it to the waitress and all was well...or so it
seemed. The first thing she brought out was a kind of
appetizer that I did NOT recall seeing in the display
window. This THING had the texture of jello. It was
clear jello with "goodies" inside. These "goodies"
appeared to be small tentacles. It looked as if a
baby octopus had been tossed in a blender for 5
seconds, then mixed into this clear, salty jello cube.
This is NOT something you want to see OR taste with a
hangover. But since I pride myself on trying
everything once, I had one bite of this baby octopus
jello cube and had to think about something else to
take my mind off what I had just put in my mouth. I
don't need to tell you that salty baby octopus
tentacle jello cubes are NOT delicious. And to add
insult to injury, when we went to pay our bill, they
CHARGED us for those things! Try disputing a bill
with a non-English speaking person...it ain't goin'
NOWHERE! Amber attempted to argue but quickly learned
that is was like beating a dead Japanese businessman
on the train tracks. We paid and left and decided to
cleanse our palates at BASKIN ROBBINS. AHHHHH, good
old American goodies. Fortunately, even Japanese
Baskin Robbins doesn't carry octopus tentacle ice-cream
(although they DO have RED BEAN ice-cream...what's up
with beans?) Of course Amber had to order THAT flavor.
I am surprised she did not ask for octopus tentacle
cube carry-out. I think she was adopted...
After dinner and wonderful, delightful, delectable,
super-stupendous Baskin Robbins ice-cream, we went
home and watched TV until 11:00pm. We called it an
early night because Amber had to leave the next
morning and I was still sleep-deprived from the night
before. We had to get up at 9:00am, get Amber to the
train station by 10:30 to catch her 2:00pm plane and
get me to work by 1:00pm. The plan sounded simple
enough...
tidbit of interesting info. I was talking with my
students the day that Amber left. I told them about
her train problem and asked if they had heard what
happened with the trains. They said that they had not
heard any news but usually when the trains are held
up, it is because someone has committed suicide on the
train rails. They said that the Chuo line is called
the Suicide line because that is the railway where
most people kill themselves. Miho said that train
suicide is common, even as common as ONCE A WEEK!
That blew my mind! They said that it is mostly
businessmen who do it. I said, "Why don't they just
drink themselves to death?" (Maybe that missing enzyme
prevents alcohol overdose...) What a violent way to
die. Anyway, just thought I would share that
interesting fact with you...HEY! If I gotta hear about
it, SO DO YOU!
Boy, I really set the mood for THIS e-mail...OK, so
Sunday, I muddle through the day and feel like
crawling in bed when I get home but that was Amber's
last night in Japan so I wanted to take her out. I
wanted to take her to the tempura restaurant that
Kazuko and her hubby took me to. They had excellent
maguro (raw tuna) and yummy shrimp tempura. I called
Kazuko to see if she wanted to meet us there but she
already had plans. She was so cute, she kept
apologizing for not being able to meet us for dinner
and meet Amber. So Am and I decided to go by
ourselves...this was going to be a challenge since the
menu is all Japanese script. So we get to the
restaurant and like many other restaurants, it has a
display window with the different dishes displayed in
it. So, genius that I am, I had the idea of writing
down the kanji of the dish that looked the best. This
way, we could just show it to the waitress and we
would know exactly what we were getting. So we copied
down the kanji of a shrimp tempura dish with miso
soup, rice, maguro, and some other mystery dish. We
showed it to the waitress and all was well...or so it
seemed. The first thing she brought out was a kind of
appetizer that I did NOT recall seeing in the display
window. This THING had the texture of jello. It was
clear jello with "goodies" inside. These "goodies"
appeared to be small tentacles. It looked as if a
baby octopus had been tossed in a blender for 5
seconds, then mixed into this clear, salty jello cube.
This is NOT something you want to see OR taste with a
hangover. But since I pride myself on trying
everything once, I had one bite of this baby octopus
jello cube and had to think about something else to
take my mind off what I had just put in my mouth. I
don't need to tell you that salty baby octopus
tentacle jello cubes are NOT delicious. And to add
insult to injury, when we went to pay our bill, they
CHARGED us for those things! Try disputing a bill
with a non-English speaking person...it ain't goin'
NOWHERE! Amber attempted to argue but quickly learned
that is was like beating a dead Japanese businessman
on the train tracks. We paid and left and decided to
cleanse our palates at BASKIN ROBBINS. AHHHHH, good
old American goodies. Fortunately, even Japanese
Baskin Robbins doesn't carry octopus tentacle ice-cream
(although they DO have RED BEAN ice-cream...what's up
with beans?) Of course Amber had to order THAT flavor.
I am surprised she did not ask for octopus tentacle
cube carry-out. I think she was adopted...
After dinner and wonderful, delightful, delectable,
super-stupendous Baskin Robbins ice-cream, we went
home and watched TV until 11:00pm. We called it an
early night because Amber had to leave the next
morning and I was still sleep-deprived from the night
before. We had to get up at 9:00am, get Amber to the
train station by 10:30 to catch her 2:00pm plane and
get me to work by 1:00pm. The plan sounded simple
enough...
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Letters from Japan: 10/24/02 "The Amber Chronicles Part 4"
So Saturday I woke up at 8:30am and got ready for
work. Amber and Meredith (my new roommate) decided to go exploring
together in Shinjuku and Ginza (Lord help'em). At
least I didn't have to worry about Amber getting lost
alone. She ended up getting on the wrong train a few
times but they made it back ok and Amber got to see a
big parade in Ginza with Japanese dancers that she was
really excited about. I got off work at 6:00pm and I
made tentative plans to go out with people from work.
Amber and I had wanted to go out and have a night on
the town but I don't know where the action is around
here. So John (my boss) ended up calling around 8:30
to see if we still wanted to go out. So Am and I got
ready and met him at the Medaimai platform where we
all caught a train to Shebuya. Even for a rainy
night, that city was CRAWLING with partiers. John
took us to a really cool restaurant called "the
Elephant Cafe." It was HUGE and had a few different
levels and some tables that had privacy curtains or
shutters. The place was dimly lit and they played
all kinds of music, from country to Indian-techno.
When the waiter walks you into the restaurant, he
yells something, announcing your arrival, and all the
wait-staff yell something back, welcoming you. John
ordered about 8 appetizers which were all very
different and funky and spicy and scrumptious. We ate
and drank a few pitchers of beer until the place
closed (midnight). At this point, we had to make a
decision of whether or not to race to the train
station and catch the last train to Tobitakyu or just
catch a MILLION DOLLAR cab ride home. Amber's
suggestion was that we just stay out until 4:00am when
the trains started operating again...ahhh, remember
me? the working girl? Yes, the one that has to get up
at 8:30am to work all day??? OK, just thought I should
remind you. We missed the last train so we decided we
might as well check out a dance club. So we went to a
place called "Xanadu." The place wasn't terribly big
but had a decent dance floor and a stage for girls to
get up and shake their thing. We had a few drinks,
then Amber was dying to let loose on the dance floor
so she dragged me out and pretty soon I was tearing it
up. I had one little Japanese guy in front of me who
turned around a couple times and told me to get up on
the stage and dance. I figured he was hitting on me.
Then I saw the guy next to him start dancing with him
and just as I was about to tell the guy that he had
better stop dancing like that with that other guy or
chicks will think he is gay...(remember, I have a
special seat on the train)...Alrighty, then! Soon I
noticed that there were SEVERAL gay guys at the club.
So I had to tease John THOROUGHLY for taking us to a
gay club. It wasn't really a gay club, but I had to
tease him about it anyway (because that is what I do
best). I think I dragged Amber and John out of that
place around 2:00am, I needed SLEEP and SOBRIETY. On
the way to find a taxi, John tricked us into going
into one more bar. This second one was much smaller
and not as happening. He and Am did one shot and I
was able to drag them out 10 minutes later. We caught
a cab that cost $75 by the time we got home. AUGH! I
think we got home a little after 3:00am. Needless to
say, I wasn't feeling too swell for work but at least
I FINALLY was part of Japanese night-life.
OK, that concludes Day 4 (and the early morning of Day
5!) No cliffhangers this time...
Love me
work. Amber and Meredith (my new roommate) decided to go exploring
together in Shinjuku and Ginza (Lord help'em). At
least I didn't have to worry about Amber getting lost
alone. She ended up getting on the wrong train a few
times but they made it back ok and Amber got to see a
big parade in Ginza with Japanese dancers that she was
really excited about. I got off work at 6:00pm and I
made tentative plans to go out with people from work.
Amber and I had wanted to go out and have a night on
the town but I don't know where the action is around
here. So John (my boss) ended up calling around 8:30
to see if we still wanted to go out. So Am and I got
ready and met him at the Medaimai platform where we
all caught a train to Shebuya. Even for a rainy
night, that city was CRAWLING with partiers. John
took us to a really cool restaurant called "the
Elephant Cafe." It was HUGE and had a few different
levels and some tables that had privacy curtains or
shutters. The place was dimly lit and they played
all kinds of music, from country to Indian-techno.
When the waiter walks you into the restaurant, he
yells something, announcing your arrival, and all the
wait-staff yell something back, welcoming you. John
ordered about 8 appetizers which were all very
different and funky and spicy and scrumptious. We ate
and drank a few pitchers of beer until the place
closed (midnight). At this point, we had to make a
decision of whether or not to race to the train
station and catch the last train to Tobitakyu or just
catch a MILLION DOLLAR cab ride home. Amber's
suggestion was that we just stay out until 4:00am when
the trains started operating again...ahhh, remember
me? the working girl? Yes, the one that has to get up
at 8:30am to work all day??? OK, just thought I should
remind you. We missed the last train so we decided we
might as well check out a dance club. So we went to a
place called "Xanadu." The place wasn't terribly big
but had a decent dance floor and a stage for girls to
get up and shake their thing. We had a few drinks,
then Amber was dying to let loose on the dance floor
so she dragged me out and pretty soon I was tearing it
up. I had one little Japanese guy in front of me who
turned around a couple times and told me to get up on
the stage and dance. I figured he was hitting on me.
Then I saw the guy next to him start dancing with him
and just as I was about to tell the guy that he had
better stop dancing like that with that other guy or
chicks will think he is gay...(remember, I have a
special seat on the train)...Alrighty, then! Soon I
noticed that there were SEVERAL gay guys at the club.
So I had to tease John THOROUGHLY for taking us to a
gay club. It wasn't really a gay club, but I had to
tease him about it anyway (because that is what I do
best). I think I dragged Amber and John out of that
place around 2:00am, I needed SLEEP and SOBRIETY. On
the way to find a taxi, John tricked us into going
into one more bar. This second one was much smaller
and not as happening. He and Am did one shot and I
was able to drag them out 10 minutes later. We caught
a cab that cost $75 by the time we got home. AUGH! I
think we got home a little after 3:00am. Needless to
say, I wasn't feeling too swell for work but at least
I FINALLY was part of Japanese night-life.
OK, that concludes Day 4 (and the early morning of Day
5!) No cliffhangers this time...
Love me
Monday, April 18, 2011
Letters from Japan: 10/24/02 "Masaki Leturns!"
Hey Kids,
I was going to feel guilty for spending my last 2 days
off sitting in an internet cafe instead of exploring
my world but it is raining today so that guilt
dissipated (unlike the crappy weather). Before I
continue with Amber's visit, I have to tell you about
Masaki. He is my student with really poor listening
comprehension who told me to have a nice life. Anyway,
I had him yesterday and he wanted to work on his
pronunciation instead of doing a lesson. Japanese
people have a difficult time pronouncing r,s,wh,and th
sounds so I told him that sounds that aren't used in
your language take practice. I wrote on a piece of
paper "tsu" and said that that sound is not used in
the English language so it is difficult for me to
pronounce and I asked him to pronounce it for me. He
looked at me sort of confused so I said, "say tsu" so
he said "tsu" and I tried to imitate him and say "tsu"
and he said "tsu" and I said "tsu" and he said "tsu"
and I said "tsu."(Are you getting the picture?) We
went back and forth, studying each other's
pronounciation intently until I realized that he
hadn't understood me. He thought I was demonstrating
the proper way to pronounce "tsu" in English so HE was
imitating ME while I thought that I was imitating HIM.
So I had a good laugh from that (he never knew why I
was laughing). Then we moved onto "r." We both got
the giggles so bad during this little session that I
didn't know if I could continue. I told him not to
move his tongue when he says "r" (Japanese people move
their tongue like an "l" when they say their r's.) So
he tried to say my name without moving his tongue and
it came out like he had just been thawed out from
Kryo-freeze. We both laughed so hard, it became hard
to even look at each other when he was trying to
imitate me. We would burst out laughing before he
could even get the first sound out. He said, "I will
remember this lesson because it is so funny." At one
point, I let out a big snort which put us both out of
commision for the next several minutes. I wish I had
our lesson a video. That's the kind of stuff I will
miss.
OK onto the Amber Chronicles...
(My favorite student, Masaki)
__________________________________
I was going to feel guilty for spending my last 2 days
off sitting in an internet cafe instead of exploring
my world but it is raining today so that guilt
dissipated (unlike the crappy weather). Before I
continue with Amber's visit, I have to tell you about
Masaki. He is my student with really poor listening
comprehension who told me to have a nice life. Anyway,
I had him yesterday and he wanted to work on his
pronunciation instead of doing a lesson. Japanese
people have a difficult time pronouncing r,s,wh,and th
sounds so I told him that sounds that aren't used in
your language take practice. I wrote on a piece of
paper "tsu" and said that that sound is not used in
the English language so it is difficult for me to
pronounce and I asked him to pronounce it for me. He
looked at me sort of confused so I said, "say tsu" so
he said "tsu" and I tried to imitate him and say "tsu"
and he said "tsu" and I said "tsu" and he said "tsu"
and I said "tsu."(Are you getting the picture?) We
went back and forth, studying each other's
pronounciation intently until I realized that he
hadn't understood me. He thought I was demonstrating
the proper way to pronounce "tsu" in English so HE was
imitating ME while I thought that I was imitating HIM.
So I had a good laugh from that (he never knew why I
was laughing). Then we moved onto "r." We both got
the giggles so bad during this little session that I
didn't know if I could continue. I told him not to
move his tongue when he says "r" (Japanese people move
their tongue like an "l" when they say their r's.) So
he tried to say my name without moving his tongue and
it came out like he had just been thawed out from
Kryo-freeze. We both laughed so hard, it became hard
to even look at each other when he was trying to
imitate me. We would burst out laughing before he
could even get the first sound out. He said, "I will
remember this lesson because it is so funny." At one
point, I let out a big snort which put us both out of
commision for the next several minutes. I wish I had
our lesson a video. That's the kind of stuff I will
miss.
OK onto the Amber Chronicles...
(My favorite student, Masaki)
__________________________________
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Letters from Japan: 10/23/02 "The Amber Chronicles Part 3"
Before I jump into action, I just wanted to clear up a few things...Ellen asked what a potsticker was. It is difficult to explain but it is like a thin, flat noodle stuffed with some kind of mystery meat (they have a lot of that here...mystery meat, that is) and spices. It is really greasy but does not appear to be fried. They have them in the states but only Amber knows where to score some. She is into weird stuff. Also, I wanted to say a quick CONGRATS to Laura who is PREGNANT. I will try to respond to all your e-mails tomorrow on my day off. I DO read them and love to get them but I don't always have time to respond right away. And now, onto the Amber Chronicles...
So there was a knock knock knockin' at the door and I opened it to find a large American with short red curly hair (have you all notice the red theme going on in all my e-mails??? EVERYONE has red hair! Not just the villains (Charlotte). Interesting...Anyway, she seemed a bit shy at first so I began rambling and asking her all sorts of questions and explaining who Amber was and why she was here and how long she would be staying, blah, blah, blah. I asked how she was feeling and she said tired. I told her that we were going out for drinks and asked if she wanted to come (thinking she would say no) but she said sure so she got washed up and we headed out to Chofu to meet my friend Chris (remember THAT red head?) I wanted to go karaoke-ing). I thought it would be fun to sit around and drink and watch drunk businessmen sing. But I was not aware that Japan karaoke is different from American karaoke. Japanese karaoke consists of friends sitting in a private room just singing in front of their own group of friends. THAT SUCKS. I was all ready to laugh myself to tears. So instead we went in search of an izakaya (a bar/restaurant) in Chofu. Since all of the signs are written in Kanji, we had no clue what buildings were izakayas. So Chris ended up stopping a couple on the street to ask them if they knew where any Chofu bars were. They pointed down the street we had just walked down. We ended up going to a place that is literally 10 steps away from my NOVA office. I walk past that place every day when I walk into work. We had a few different kinds of bad sake before we gave up on that idea. But by then, we were sufficiently buzzed and we had to catch the train by midnight or we would have to walk home. So we choked down the rest of the bottle and headed to the station. At the platform, we were accosted by a drunken businessman. He was falling all over the place and saw us looking at him so he started laughing about something and walked over to Chris and wrapped his arms around him and said something and laughed and imitated a sumo wrestler stomping his feet on the ground, then he staggered away...ahhhh...What just happened? Always something interesting...
Friday, Amber and I were PLANNING on catching a train to Hakone (yes, you read that right, HAKONE) but as fate would have it, it was raining...SHOCKER! So we decided to explore Shinjuku. There are TEN huge malls in Shinjuku. But we decided to stop in Chofu on the way because Amber wanted to go the the 100 Yen store (that is the Japanese version of the Dollar Store). The only difference between the two is that the 100 Yen store actually has cool stuff. If you have ever seen a kid at Christmas, you know what my sister looked like in that place. She was going NUTS! "OH, LOOK AT THIS! OH, RACHEL, LOOK AT THIS! OH, LOOK AT THIS! If she had the room in her luggage, she would have cleared out their inventory. I don't know how I got her out of that place, but eventually we walked over to the other side of the station and shopped til we dropped in Parco Department store. Once again..."OH, RACHEL! LOOK AT THIS! OH, LOOK AT THIS!" She said that so many times in this one fancy dress store that the store employee lady started laughing. After a few hours, I was starving so I had to drag Amber away from the kimono she was eye-balling so that I could get something to eat. We went to an Italian restaurant in the mall that overlooked Chofu and had a good lunch (although not very filling). Afterward, we had planned on going home and resting, then going to Shinjuku for a crazy night on the town. But Amber's jet lag started kicking in once we got home so I just rented two movies and cooked my famous nightly dinner (one egg with broccoli, sticky rice, bean sprouts and soy sauce). OH! When we had gotten home, there was a package waiting from me from Michael. He had sent me a big air mattress (along with lots of other goodies). Guess whose air filled that ENTIRE BED. You think blowing up a beach ball is a challenge, try blowing up 50 beach balls. I thought, "He has GOT to be KIDDING me" when I saw the size of the mattress. But I blew on that thing for about an hour, and success was finally mine! Of course, since it is made of some kind of blow-up-able stuff, it was like the world's largest whoopy cushion when you rolled around on it. So at night when we slept, I was not allowed to move for fear of "farting" and waking up my angry-bear sister. (My mom hates when I say "fart"...HI MA!) So after dinner and a movie and reading all the magazines Michael sent, we went to bed. I had to work the next day (Saturday)so a quiet night in was right up my alley. Especially since Saturday night was going to get CRAZY! And I'll tell you all about that TOMORROW!
Love me
So there was a knock knock knockin' at the door and I opened it to find a large American with short red curly hair (have you all notice the red theme going on in all my e-mails??? EVERYONE has red hair! Not just the villains (Charlotte). Interesting...Anyway, she seemed a bit shy at first so I began rambling and asking her all sorts of questions and explaining who Amber was and why she was here and how long she would be staying, blah, blah, blah. I asked how she was feeling and she said tired. I told her that we were going out for drinks and asked if she wanted to come (thinking she would say no) but she said sure so she got washed up and we headed out to Chofu to meet my friend Chris (remember THAT red head?) I wanted to go karaoke-ing). I thought it would be fun to sit around and drink and watch drunk businessmen sing. But I was not aware that Japan karaoke is different from American karaoke. Japanese karaoke consists of friends sitting in a private room just singing in front of their own group of friends. THAT SUCKS. I was all ready to laugh myself to tears. So instead we went in search of an izakaya (a bar/restaurant) in Chofu. Since all of the signs are written in Kanji, we had no clue what buildings were izakayas. So Chris ended up stopping a couple on the street to ask them if they knew where any Chofu bars were. They pointed down the street we had just walked down. We ended up going to a place that is literally 10 steps away from my NOVA office. I walk past that place every day when I walk into work. We had a few different kinds of bad sake before we gave up on that idea. But by then, we were sufficiently buzzed and we had to catch the train by midnight or we would have to walk home. So we choked down the rest of the bottle and headed to the station. At the platform, we were accosted by a drunken businessman. He was falling all over the place and saw us looking at him so he started laughing about something and walked over to Chris and wrapped his arms around him and said something and laughed and imitated a sumo wrestler stomping his feet on the ground, then he staggered away...ahhhh...What just happened? Always something interesting...
Friday, Amber and I were PLANNING on catching a train to Hakone (yes, you read that right, HAKONE) but as fate would have it, it was raining...SHOCKER! So we decided to explore Shinjuku. There are TEN huge malls in Shinjuku. But we decided to stop in Chofu on the way because Amber wanted to go the the 100 Yen store (that is the Japanese version of the Dollar Store). The only difference between the two is that the 100 Yen store actually has cool stuff. If you have ever seen a kid at Christmas, you know what my sister looked like in that place. She was going NUTS! "OH, LOOK AT THIS! OH, RACHEL, LOOK AT THIS! OH, LOOK AT THIS! If she had the room in her luggage, she would have cleared out their inventory. I don't know how I got her out of that place, but eventually we walked over to the other side of the station and shopped til we dropped in Parco Department store. Once again..."OH, RACHEL! LOOK AT THIS! OH, LOOK AT THIS!" She said that so many times in this one fancy dress store that the store employee lady started laughing. After a few hours, I was starving so I had to drag Amber away from the kimono she was eye-balling so that I could get something to eat. We went to an Italian restaurant in the mall that overlooked Chofu and had a good lunch (although not very filling). Afterward, we had planned on going home and resting, then going to Shinjuku for a crazy night on the town. But Amber's jet lag started kicking in once we got home so I just rented two movies and cooked my famous nightly dinner (one egg with broccoli, sticky rice, bean sprouts and soy sauce). OH! When we had gotten home, there was a package waiting from me from Michael. He had sent me a big air mattress (along with lots of other goodies). Guess whose air filled that ENTIRE BED. You think blowing up a beach ball is a challenge, try blowing up 50 beach balls. I thought, "He has GOT to be KIDDING me" when I saw the size of the mattress. But I blew on that thing for about an hour, and success was finally mine! Of course, since it is made of some kind of blow-up-able stuff, it was like the world's largest whoopy cushion when you rolled around on it. So at night when we slept, I was not allowed to move for fear of "farting" and waking up my angry-bear sister. (My mom hates when I say "fart"...HI MA!) So after dinner and a movie and reading all the magazines Michael sent, we went to bed. I had to work the next day (Saturday)so a quiet night in was right up my alley. Especially since Saturday night was going to get CRAZY! And I'll tell you all about that TOMORROW!
Love me
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Letter from Japan: 10/22/01 "The Amber Chronicles Part 2"
Hey Kids,
I am just going to jump right into Day 2...no intros.
Thursday morning Amber had WANTED to wake up at some gawd-awful hour and go to some fish market on the other side of the earth at 4:30am when all the fishermen bring in their catch of the day and all the restaurants flock like pigeons to get a piece of the action. Then all the restaurants serve fresh sushi breakfast with the catch of the day. All this great fun ENDS by 6:00am. As most of you know, I am NOT a morning person...never put it past my sister to come up with ways to torture me within HOURS of arriving. Fortunately, John told us that the trains don't start running until 4:30am and by the time we got there, it would all be over with. PHEW! Dodged THAT bullet. We would have had to get up at 3:00am at the LATEST to start THAT trek. So instead, we went with Plan B...Kamakura. This is the place that Paul and I have planned a million times to go to but always ended up doing something else. So we got up Thursday morning and did some train hopping to Kamakura. On the train ride there, my sister informed me that my fingernails were too long, I was in need of an eyebrow wax, and the zit on my chin was in need of some picking. Yes, it was already beginning to feel like home, even MILES away from the U.S.
When we got to Shinjuku, Amber wanted to get some "potstickers" at a place in the train station which ended up being very yummy. I had never tried them before (most Japanese food is not very tasty so I have not been very adventurous with food experimentation). So I am glad that Amber is such the enthusiast when it comes to trying new things. I finally found something I can eat besides McDonald's. After lunch, we caught the train to Kamakura and rented bikes to ride around the city on. Kamakura has lots of temples and gardens, it was very cool. We saw the big Buddha and went into his belly (that sounds cooler than it was...there was no action in there, nothing to see, no guts or nothin'). Then Amber and I decided to check out the souvenir counter. She wanted to get some postcards to send back home so I decided to check out all the little gadgets while she picked through cards. I saw these little red containers with red tassels attached to the bottom. I decided to have a little peak inside the container thingy and found a little gold Buddha inside. Rachel: "LOOK, AMBER, THERE'S A LITTLE BUDDHA INSIDE!"
Amber: "Where?"
I pried the container open a little more and shook it so that the Buddha was more visible..
Rachel: "SEE?"
Japanese sales lady "NO OPEN!!!"
Everyone turns to look at the stupid American shaking Buddha out of his safety container.
Rachel: "Ok, you about done here, Amber?"
Dumb American retreats to her bike.
From there we decided to find a few other temples (maybe we could find some dumb Americans who were abusing Buddha and point and laugh at them and tell the store clerk).
As we biked along, we kept passing by cute little shops so we decided to stop and check them out. By then, I was in the mood for some ice-cream. We found a soft-serve ice-cream shop but the only flavors were green and purple. I could give you a MILLION guesses and you would NEVER guess what the purple flavor was...no, not grape or berry. That would be too American. But this stuff was selling like hotcakes (mind you, old Japanese woman were the ones licking it up like dogs on a peanut-butter covered nipple). So by the time we made it to the front of the line, I asked what these two delightful flavors might be, because the natives sure where loving it. "green tea and sweet potato." WHAT?! And if THAT did not sound tempting enough, you could get them in a TWIST!!! Before my stomach could even finish turning, my very excited sister was already taking her first lick. She wasn't kidding about trying new things when she got here. She's a good sport like that. And being the good sport that I am, I had one lick of hers, then decided that my initial stomach-turning reaction was justified. YUCK!
Afterward, we jumped on our bikes and headed for the next temple. The next ones were really cool. There were several temples all set in a beautiful garden that had many levels. There were also several ponds with huge goldfish (like huge carp but with white and orange and red coloring. We took lots of pictures. Of course mine all came out fuzzy so I am hoping that Amber has better luck when she gets her pictures developed.
We had to get the bikes back to the bike place by 5:00pm so we headed back after those temples. After we dropped off the bikes, we found another store with potstickers. I wanted to find a place to sit inside of the store, the place was rather big and sometimes those kinds of places have areas where you can sit and enjoy the fresh food you just purchased. I tried to ask the cashier if they had a place to sit and eat. She did not speak English so eventually, there were three cashier ladies gathering around to try to understand me. Finally, I pretended like I was sitting down, I mimed sitting down and they all said "OHHHHHHHHHH!" and giggled and pointed up the steps. So I headed up the steps but found that no such seating area existed. That's when Amber pointed to the bathrooms and said, "They thought you wanted to know where the bathrooms were." They thought I was miming squatting on the toilet. Lovely. That explains the giggling. So we decided to go outside and sit on the bench at the bus stop and have our little goodies.
Afterward, we caught the train back to Tobitakyu. We wanted to freshen up and head back out for the evening. Ten minutes after we got back, there was a knock knock knockin' at the door. My new roommate had arrived. And I will leave you with that cliff hanger because I am already over my time limit...
Love me
I am just going to jump right into Day 2...no intros.
Thursday morning Amber had WANTED to wake up at some gawd-awful hour and go to some fish market on the other side of the earth at 4:30am when all the fishermen bring in their catch of the day and all the restaurants flock like pigeons to get a piece of the action. Then all the restaurants serve fresh sushi breakfast with the catch of the day. All this great fun ENDS by 6:00am. As most of you know, I am NOT a morning person...never put it past my sister to come up with ways to torture me within HOURS of arriving. Fortunately, John told us that the trains don't start running until 4:30am and by the time we got there, it would all be over with. PHEW! Dodged THAT bullet. We would have had to get up at 3:00am at the LATEST to start THAT trek. So instead, we went with Plan B...Kamakura. This is the place that Paul and I have planned a million times to go to but always ended up doing something else. So we got up Thursday morning and did some train hopping to Kamakura. On the train ride there, my sister informed me that my fingernails were too long, I was in need of an eyebrow wax, and the zit on my chin was in need of some picking. Yes, it was already beginning to feel like home, even MILES away from the U.S.
When we got to Shinjuku, Amber wanted to get some "potstickers" at a place in the train station which ended up being very yummy. I had never tried them before (most Japanese food is not very tasty so I have not been very adventurous with food experimentation). So I am glad that Amber is such the enthusiast when it comes to trying new things. I finally found something I can eat besides McDonald's. After lunch, we caught the train to Kamakura and rented bikes to ride around the city on. Kamakura has lots of temples and gardens, it was very cool. We saw the big Buddha and went into his belly (that sounds cooler than it was...there was no action in there, nothing to see, no guts or nothin'). Then Amber and I decided to check out the souvenir counter. She wanted to get some postcards to send back home so I decided to check out all the little gadgets while she picked through cards. I saw these little red containers with red tassels attached to the bottom. I decided to have a little peak inside the container thingy and found a little gold Buddha inside. Rachel: "LOOK, AMBER, THERE'S A LITTLE BUDDHA INSIDE!"
Amber: "Where?"
I pried the container open a little more and shook it so that the Buddha was more visible..
Rachel: "SEE?"
Japanese sales lady "NO OPEN!!!"
Everyone turns to look at the stupid American shaking Buddha out of his safety container.
Rachel: "Ok, you about done here, Amber?"
Dumb American retreats to her bike.
From there we decided to find a few other temples (maybe we could find some dumb Americans who were abusing Buddha and point and laugh at them and tell the store clerk).
As we biked along, we kept passing by cute little shops so we decided to stop and check them out. By then, I was in the mood for some ice-cream. We found a soft-serve ice-cream shop but the only flavors were green and purple. I could give you a MILLION guesses and you would NEVER guess what the purple flavor was...no, not grape or berry. That would be too American. But this stuff was selling like hotcakes (mind you, old Japanese woman were the ones licking it up like dogs on a peanut-butter covered nipple). So by the time we made it to the front of the line, I asked what these two delightful flavors might be, because the natives sure where loving it. "green tea and sweet potato." WHAT?! And if THAT did not sound tempting enough, you could get them in a TWIST!!! Before my stomach could even finish turning, my very excited sister was already taking her first lick. She wasn't kidding about trying new things when she got here. She's a good sport like that. And being the good sport that I am, I had one lick of hers, then decided that my initial stomach-turning reaction was justified. YUCK!
Afterward, we jumped on our bikes and headed for the next temple. The next ones were really cool. There were several temples all set in a beautiful garden that had many levels. There were also several ponds with huge goldfish (like huge carp but with white and orange and red coloring. We took lots of pictures. Of course mine all came out fuzzy so I am hoping that Amber has better luck when she gets her pictures developed.
We had to get the bikes back to the bike place by 5:00pm so we headed back after those temples. After we dropped off the bikes, we found another store with potstickers. I wanted to find a place to sit inside of the store, the place was rather big and sometimes those kinds of places have areas where you can sit and enjoy the fresh food you just purchased. I tried to ask the cashier if they had a place to sit and eat. She did not speak English so eventually, there were three cashier ladies gathering around to try to understand me. Finally, I pretended like I was sitting down, I mimed sitting down and they all said "OHHHHHHHHHH!" and giggled and pointed up the steps. So I headed up the steps but found that no such seating area existed. That's when Amber pointed to the bathrooms and said, "They thought you wanted to know where the bathrooms were." They thought I was miming squatting on the toilet. Lovely. That explains the giggling. So we decided to go outside and sit on the bench at the bus stop and have our little goodies.
Afterward, we caught the train back to Tobitakyu. We wanted to freshen up and head back out for the evening. Ten minutes after we got back, there was a knock knock knockin' at the door. My new roommate had arrived. And I will leave you with that cliff hanger because I am already over my time limit...
Love me
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Letters from Japan: 10/21/02 "The Amber Chronicles 1"
Hey Kids!
Thanks for all your e-mails. It is nice to come to the cafe and find 20 new messages! I am INSPIRED! I took Amber to the train station 10 hours ago. That situation is a whole other story which I will tell in the days to come...I like to tell stories in chronological order...Also, I only have 50 minutes to write so I will have to tell of our adventures in parts..."chapters," if you will.
I managed to get out of my shift on Wednesday so I could pick Amber up from the airport. This time I splurged and coughed up the $30 bucks to take the express train ONE WAY to the station. I got there a half hour before Amber's flight landed and had to wait an additional hour and a half for her to get off the plane and come through customs and all that other crap. After a while, I began wondering if I had missed her coming through the airport and started stressing about how I was going to find her. I had visions in my head of that little Japanese boy in Chofu park screaming bloody murder, "MOOOOOOOOOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" (remember that kid?) I figured if my sister got upset enough about not being able to find me in the airport, she would eventually morph into that screaming little boy... "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!" She WOULD do it, you know.
Anyway, two hours later, she emerged from the exit thingy and all was well. We bought our ticket for the express train back to Shinjuku and hopped the train without any problems. From Shinjuku to Chofu, Amber got to experience Smashed-Boob syndrome. That was exciting. I always enjoy when others can experience my pain. To hear stories about it is one thing, but to LIVE it is another. She knows I ain't lyin'. The one guy I was sandwiched next to had a HUGE mole that, at first glance, appeared to be a large grayish-brown marble glued to his forehead. When your eyes are inches away from a huge grayish-brown marble mole, it is difficult to avert your eyes so I closed them for most of the ride. This mole had to be hanging on by a THREAD. It was a perfect ball. You'd think his ma woulda taken him to get that thing lanced years ago. But I guess if they don't mind brown, gunky teeth, what the hell is a little gigantic marble mole gonna hurt...
So we finally made it to Tobitakyu and Amber freshened up and then wanted to get some sushi. I tried calling Paul to get him to go with us but his phone wasn't working so we caught the train to Chofu at 9:00pm when he got off work and we asked him if he wanted to go. Paul likes sushi and he knows the good places so I figured he'd be the perfect companion. Amber got to meet many of my fellow co-workers which was also nice. Charlotte was working...remember her???? I introduced Amber to everyone but her so that was nice. From there, Paul took us to a little sushi bar where the sushi rides around on a conveyor belt and you grab stuff off as it goes by you. One plate was COMPLETELY disgusting, I asked Paul what it was and he said something like, "That's the plate of nasties." And he was quite right, it was the nastiest looking plate of "food" I had ever seen. It got nastier when I pointed to the one mushroom on the plate, thinkin! g I actually recognized something. Paul said "That's not a mushroom. That's a fish eye." YUCK! I wish he never told me that because that damn plate circled around on the conveyor belt 20 times, and every time it passed us, that damn eye stared at me. It was like "The Tell Tale Heart," it was driving me insane! That was the most disgusting meal I have had since I have been here, but I think Amber enjoyed the experience so that was good.
After "dinner," I needed to get toilet paper and other bathroom supplies and Paul said that there was a place in Horinochi that was open 24 hours a day and had everything you ever needed. So we caught a train to Horinochi and Amber got to see her first severely drunken man on the platform when we were waiting to switch trains. This guy could not stand in one spot. He would lean too far forward and take two steps forward then lean too far back and have to take two steps back, then 2 steps forward and two steps back. Eventually he found a wall to lean against and that solved the problem for about 5 seconds. Then he attempted to put his cigarette out and throw it in the trash can which had many holes in it for which to dispose of your ciggy. These holes were the size of golf balls and he could not manage to get his cigarette in the golf ball-sized hole. Paul was so amused, at one point he yelled, "That's awesome!" I was so glad that all the horrors that I have written about were happening when Amber was here. It makes for a good bonding experience. And I have some validation. On a funny side note, I was telling one of my students about these drunken episodes I have witnessed and I told him about the one guy who passed out and smashed his head into the toll booth at Chofu station and my student said (with a heavy Japanese accent)..."He enjoyed gravity?" I laughed so hard I almost cried.
So that was our first evening together. The only exciting thing about our trip to the store was that I thought I bought a big thing of toilet paper but when I got home, Amber discovered that it was paper towel...the bright side is it has good absorbency.
OK, I am broke so I am going to try to stay within my one hour limit. Write soon and I will write again tomorrow...the saga continues...
Love Rachel
Thanks for all your e-mails. It is nice to come to the cafe and find 20 new messages! I am INSPIRED! I took Amber to the train station 10 hours ago. That situation is a whole other story which I will tell in the days to come...I like to tell stories in chronological order...Also, I only have 50 minutes to write so I will have to tell of our adventures in parts..."chapters," if you will.
I managed to get out of my shift on Wednesday so I could pick Amber up from the airport. This time I splurged and coughed up the $30 bucks to take the express train ONE WAY to the station. I got there a half hour before Amber's flight landed and had to wait an additional hour and a half for her to get off the plane and come through customs and all that other crap. After a while, I began wondering if I had missed her coming through the airport and started stressing about how I was going to find her. I had visions in my head of that little Japanese boy in Chofu park screaming bloody murder, "MOOOOOOOOOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" (remember that kid?) I figured if my sister got upset enough about not being able to find me in the airport, she would eventually morph into that screaming little boy... "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!" She WOULD do it, you know.
Anyway, two hours later, she emerged from the exit thingy and all was well. We bought our ticket for the express train back to Shinjuku and hopped the train without any problems. From Shinjuku to Chofu, Amber got to experience Smashed-Boob syndrome. That was exciting. I always enjoy when others can experience my pain. To hear stories about it is one thing, but to LIVE it is another. She knows I ain't lyin'. The one guy I was sandwiched next to had a HUGE mole that, at first glance, appeared to be a large grayish-brown marble glued to his forehead. When your eyes are inches away from a huge grayish-brown marble mole, it is difficult to avert your eyes so I closed them for most of the ride. This mole had to be hanging on by a THREAD. It was a perfect ball. You'd think his ma woulda taken him to get that thing lanced years ago. But I guess if they don't mind brown, gunky teeth, what the hell is a little gigantic marble mole gonna hurt...
So we finally made it to Tobitakyu and Amber freshened up and then wanted to get some sushi. I tried calling Paul to get him to go with us but his phone wasn't working so we caught the train to Chofu at 9:00pm when he got off work and we asked him if he wanted to go. Paul likes sushi and he knows the good places so I figured he'd be the perfect companion. Amber got to meet many of my fellow co-workers which was also nice. Charlotte was working...remember her???? I introduced Amber to everyone but her so that was nice. From there, Paul took us to a little sushi bar where the sushi rides around on a conveyor belt and you grab stuff off as it goes by you. One plate was COMPLETELY disgusting, I asked Paul what it was and he said something like, "That's the plate of nasties." And he was quite right, it was the nastiest looking plate of "food" I had ever seen. It got nastier when I pointed to the one mushroom on the plate, thinkin! g I actually recognized something. Paul said "That's not a mushroom. That's a fish eye." YUCK! I wish he never told me that because that damn plate circled around on the conveyor belt 20 times, and every time it passed us, that damn eye stared at me. It was like "The Tell Tale Heart," it was driving me insane! That was the most disgusting meal I have had since I have been here, but I think Amber enjoyed the experience so that was good.
After "dinner," I needed to get toilet paper and other bathroom supplies and Paul said that there was a place in Horinochi that was open 24 hours a day and had everything you ever needed. So we caught a train to Horinochi and Amber got to see her first severely drunken man on the platform when we were waiting to switch trains. This guy could not stand in one spot. He would lean too far forward and take two steps forward then lean too far back and have to take two steps back, then 2 steps forward and two steps back. Eventually he found a wall to lean against and that solved the problem for about 5 seconds. Then he attempted to put his cigarette out and throw it in the trash can which had many holes in it for which to dispose of your ciggy. These holes were the size of golf balls and he could not manage to get his cigarette in the golf ball-sized hole. Paul was so amused, at one point he yelled, "That's awesome!" I was so glad that all the horrors that I have written about were happening when Amber was here. It makes for a good bonding experience. And I have some validation. On a funny side note, I was telling one of my students about these drunken episodes I have witnessed and I told him about the one guy who passed out and smashed his head into the toll booth at Chofu station and my student said (with a heavy Japanese accent)..."He enjoyed gravity?" I laughed so hard I almost cried.
So that was our first evening together. The only exciting thing about our trip to the store was that I thought I bought a big thing of toilet paper but when I got home, Amber discovered that it was paper towel...the bright side is it has good absorbency.
OK, I am broke so I am going to try to stay within my one hour limit. Write soon and I will write again tomorrow...the saga continues...
Love Rachel
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Letters from Japan: 10/15/02 "Blah"
Yes, I am still alive. I have been living like a pauper though, which meant skipping the nightly internet cafe writing gig until payday (today). And I will probably be out of commission for a few more days because I will be picking Amber up from the airport tomorrow evening, and I will be entertaining her for the next 5 days. If I am feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow morning, I might drag my butt to Virgin Records before I head off to get Amber. I don't have too many inspiring stories to share but there is always SOMETHING to talk about. The latest news in Japan is the return of the Japanese hostages that disappeared over 25 years ago. Has that been in the news in the U.S.??? 30-some people disappeared over the course of a few years in the 1970`s and as it turned out, North Koreans kidnapped them and forced them to teach Koreans Japanese. There are only 5 survivors so the big question is how did the other 25 people die. I am in a sour mood right now...between the bombing in Bali, the sniper in the U.S., and Japanese hostages, I am losing faith in humanity. It's all bringing me down. So hopefully by tomorrow I will feel perky and ready to tell you the few crazy stories I have. Right now, they just don't seem relevant...
Write soon, Love me
Write soon, Love me
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Letters from Japan: 10/10/11 "The Ha-Ha Man"
I am DISAPPOINTED!!! I come all the way out to the
internet cafe to find only TWO E-MAILS!!! How can I
find inspiration to write when I have NO INCOMING
MAIL!!! And ONE of those e-mails is a PORNOGRAPHIC
PICTURE! (thanks, Josh). Oh well, I am a survivor, so
I will press on, WITH OR WITHOUT YOU!
Where do I begin? How about the train station. This
morning I am standing at the train station in Chofu
waiting to catch the express train to Shinjuku when I
hear, "HELLO!" I turn to see a sharp dressed Japanese
guy in a suit and tie. I've heard about Japanese
people being eager to talk to Americans to practice
their English, but this guy seems very confident in
approaching me (most Japanese people are very shy
around strangers, especially foreigners...also known
as 'gaijen'). I say hello slowly as the thought dawns
on me that he is another Jehovah's Witness... then,
"DO YOU REMEMBER ME?!" OK, now I know that he can't be
a JW (I put back my cockroach spray), and I know that
he can't be some dude I met in a drunken stupor at a
bar late one night because I haven't had any late,
drunken, bar nights. I tell him that I don't remember
him but he looks vaguely familiar. "YOU TAUGHT ME
ENGLISH!" THEN it all comes back to me. I have only
taught him once before, about a month ago. He is a
student at NOVA. So then I feel horrible, like
somehow I should have recognized him. I tell him that
he wasn't wearing those glasses when I taught him and
THAT is why I didn't recognize him right away. (He
doesn't know how being in another country has made me
retarded and that I have a special seat on the train
just for me, right next to the pregnant women and
decaying old men). He is on his way to an interview
and my train comes just seconds after he approaches
me, so he tells me to have a nice day and leaves. Why
do I feel bad?
OK, so I get to Shinjuku and come to the third floor
of Virgin Records. There is always competition here
to get an open computer. This place is always packed
and many times I have to wait a while before I can get
on a computer. I usually sit and drink my iced mocha
at a strategically placed table so that I can get the
eagle eye-view of as many computers as possible. The
moment I see someone stirring from their chair, I
POUNCE! Anyway, there is about a 50 yard distance
from the escalator to the computer area. As I am
walking towards the cash register (you must purchase a
sandwich or beverage in order to use the computers) I
hear quickened footsteps behind me. They are closing
in on me...no, THEY ARE PASSING ME! So I pick up my
pace, this person is NOT going to pass me! I am first
in line!!! But his stubby legs are faster than mine
and he passes me at the last second. Bastard! He
orders his drink and turns to scan the room for an
open computer. The whole time I am swearing at him in
my head. Of course there is ONE open computer and HE
GETS IT! I get my coffee and sit at a table and look
over at the little rat-bastard at MY computer...AND HE
is looking at ME with a SMUG LOOK on his ratty little
face!& I can't believe it! Not only has he cut in
front of me and stolen my computer, NOW he is looking
at me and laughing and giving me the "ha-ha" face!!!
I see a woman get up and I race over to where she is
sitting to find that there is no computer at that
spot. Now I have to walk past the ha-ha bastard and
he says something to me. I can't understand him and I
am about to give my usual Japanese phrase "Nihongo ga
wakarimasen" but then it dawns on me that this dude is
not Japanese. "What?" I ask. In a French accent he
repeats, "Where are you from?" This guy steals my
computer and now he is going to hit on me???!!!
"America."
"You have beautiful hair."
"Thanks. You are a short, hairy bastard."
And I walk away. (Ok, so I left out the short, hairy
bastard part, but I DID walk away!) Luckily, a
computer on the other side of the room opened up soon
after my encounter with the short, hairy, ha-ha
bastard so I didn't have to sit at a table and stew.
In other news, I received a notice in my mailbox at
work that I am getting a new roommate THE DAY AFTER
AMBER GETS HERE!!!! I can't believe it! I am going
to have to be creative and figure out a way to
provided bedding for everyone. I ain't sleepin' on no
tiled floor! Michael has been kind enough to offer to
send an inflatable bed but for the price of shipping,
I might as well just buy a futon here. The good news
is that my new roommate is an American so I don't have
to worry about defending the actions of my country for
the last 3 weeks of my stay.
OK, last story from me and I swear I'll be done. On
Wednesdays I work at Nova on the north side of the
train station (Chofu Kita-guchi). The other days of
the week, I work at Chofu Minami-guchi...sorry i just
got distracted. The dude sitting to my immediate
right keeps squeezing a zit on the side of his neck
and now it is bleeding profusely and and he keeps
squeezing and wiping and wiping and sqeezing...and
typing. I'll have to remember not to use that
keyboard next time. Anyway, I have a student named
Masaki whom I adore. He has benn taking English
classes FOREVER and he NEVER seems to progress (kinda
like my ma practicing the same song on the piano every
day for a year and never getting any better...love
you, Ma!). What makes him so cute is that he tries SO
HARD. He studies at home all the time and comes to
class on a regular basis and really puts forth a lot
of effort. Anyway, I really enjoy him and I had him
yesterday when I taught at Chofu Kita-guchi. At the
end of our lesson, I told him that I may not see him
again because I would not be there next week (I am
taking next Wednesday off to pick Amber up) and I
would be leaving for the U.S. soon after. I told him
that if I did not see him again, it was nice meeting
him. Masaki dug deep within himself and pulled out all
the American sayings he could think of from his
limited repertoire..."That's life!...Have a nice
life!...Good luck with new life!" I didn't stop to
explain that "Have a nice life!" is usually followed
by a slamming of the door when one angry lover leaves
the other. I knew what he meant, he was wishing me
well with all the words he knew how; I love Japanese
people. (My favorite pupil, Masaki)
internet cafe to find only TWO E-MAILS!!! How can I
find inspiration to write when I have NO INCOMING
MAIL!!! And ONE of those e-mails is a PORNOGRAPHIC
PICTURE! (thanks, Josh). Oh well, I am a survivor, so
I will press on, WITH OR WITHOUT YOU!
Where do I begin? How about the train station. This
morning I am standing at the train station in Chofu
waiting to catch the express train to Shinjuku when I
hear, "HELLO!" I turn to see a sharp dressed Japanese
guy in a suit and tie. I've heard about Japanese
people being eager to talk to Americans to practice
their English, but this guy seems very confident in
approaching me (most Japanese people are very shy
around strangers, especially foreigners...also known
as 'gaijen'). I say hello slowly as the thought dawns
on me that he is another Jehovah's Witness... then,
"DO YOU REMEMBER ME?!" OK, now I know that he can't be
a JW (I put back my cockroach spray), and I know that
he can't be some dude I met in a drunken stupor at a
bar late one night because I haven't had any late,
drunken, bar nights. I tell him that I don't remember
him but he looks vaguely familiar. "YOU TAUGHT ME
ENGLISH!" THEN it all comes back to me. I have only
taught him once before, about a month ago. He is a
student at NOVA. So then I feel horrible, like
somehow I should have recognized him. I tell him that
he wasn't wearing those glasses when I taught him and
THAT is why I didn't recognize him right away. (He
doesn't know how being in another country has made me
retarded and that I have a special seat on the train
just for me, right next to the pregnant women and
decaying old men). He is on his way to an interview
and my train comes just seconds after he approaches
me, so he tells me to have a nice day and leaves. Why
do I feel bad?
OK, so I get to Shinjuku and come to the third floor
of Virgin Records. There is always competition here
to get an open computer. This place is always packed
and many times I have to wait a while before I can get
on a computer. I usually sit and drink my iced mocha
at a strategically placed table so that I can get the
eagle eye-view of as many computers as possible. The
moment I see someone stirring from their chair, I
POUNCE! Anyway, there is about a 50 yard distance
from the escalator to the computer area. As I am
walking towards the cash register (you must purchase a
sandwich or beverage in order to use the computers) I
hear quickened footsteps behind me. They are closing
in on me...no, THEY ARE PASSING ME! So I pick up my
pace, this person is NOT going to pass me! I am first
in line!!! But his stubby legs are faster than mine
and he passes me at the last second. Bastard! He
orders his drink and turns to scan the room for an
open computer. The whole time I am swearing at him in
my head. Of course there is ONE open computer and HE
GETS IT! I get my coffee and sit at a table and look
over at the little rat-bastard at MY computer...AND HE
is looking at ME with a SMUG LOOK on his ratty little
face!& I can't believe it! Not only has he cut in
front of me and stolen my computer, NOW he is looking
at me and laughing and giving me the "ha-ha" face!!!
I see a woman get up and I race over to where she is
sitting to find that there is no computer at that
spot. Now I have to walk past the ha-ha bastard and
he says something to me. I can't understand him and I
am about to give my usual Japanese phrase "Nihongo ga
wakarimasen" but then it dawns on me that this dude is
not Japanese. "What?" I ask. In a French accent he
repeats, "Where are you from?" This guy steals my
computer and now he is going to hit on me???!!!
"America."
"You have beautiful hair."
"Thanks. You are a short, hairy bastard."
And I walk away. (Ok, so I left out the short, hairy
bastard part, but I DID walk away!) Luckily, a
computer on the other side of the room opened up soon
after my encounter with the short, hairy, ha-ha
bastard so I didn't have to sit at a table and stew.
In other news, I received a notice in my mailbox at
work that I am getting a new roommate THE DAY AFTER
AMBER GETS HERE!!!! I can't believe it! I am going
to have to be creative and figure out a way to
provided bedding for everyone. I ain't sleepin' on no
tiled floor! Michael has been kind enough to offer to
send an inflatable bed but for the price of shipping,
I might as well just buy a futon here. The good news
is that my new roommate is an American so I don't have
to worry about defending the actions of my country for
the last 3 weeks of my stay.
OK, last story from me and I swear I'll be done. On
Wednesdays I work at Nova on the north side of the
train station (Chofu Kita-guchi). The other days of
the week, I work at Chofu Minami-guchi...sorry i just
got distracted. The dude sitting to my immediate
right keeps squeezing a zit on the side of his neck
and now it is bleeding profusely and and he keeps
squeezing and wiping and wiping and sqeezing...and
typing. I'll have to remember not to use that
keyboard next time. Anyway, I have a student named
Masaki whom I adore. He has benn taking English
classes FOREVER and he NEVER seems to progress (kinda
like my ma practicing the same song on the piano every
day for a year and never getting any better...love
you, Ma!). What makes him so cute is that he tries SO
HARD. He studies at home all the time and comes to
class on a regular basis and really puts forth a lot
of effort. Anyway, I really enjoy him and I had him
yesterday when I taught at Chofu Kita-guchi. At the
end of our lesson, I told him that I may not see him
again because I would not be there next week (I am
taking next Wednesday off to pick Amber up) and I
would be leaving for the U.S. soon after. I told him
that if I did not see him again, it was nice meeting
him. Masaki dug deep within himself and pulled out all
the American sayings he could think of from his
limited repertoire..."That's life!...Have a nice
life!...Good luck with new life!" I didn't stop to
explain that "Have a nice life!" is usually followed
by a slamming of the door when one angry lover leaves
the other. I knew what he meant, he was wishing me
well with all the words he knew how; I love Japanese
people. (My favorite pupil, Masaki)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Letters from Japan: 10/9/02 "Buttery Nipples Ain't Just a Shot"
I am just going to start writing, them decide if what I have written is worth sending. Think of it as a kind of "stream-of-conscious" writing (or is it stream-of-conscience???) I have had three more Japanese twin sightings. A few days ago, I saw Marky Mark's Japanese twin, Julie from "The Love Boat"'s Japanese twin (remember Captain Stubing's daughter...how do you spell 'Stubing' anyway?), and my cousin's Japanese twin. I wonder if I will find my Japanese twin before I leave...
OK, more on stupid TV shows. About 2 weeks ago, I was flipping through the channels at night like I ALWAYS do, looking for SOMETHING to keep me company. I was channel-surfing when suddenly a hairy nipple appeared on the TV screen. Of course, I had to stop and investigate the situation. The next thing I see is a butter knife smearing peanut-butter (more commonly referred to as 'penis-butter') on this big hairy nipple. The camera pans back and I see this guy laying on his back on the sidewalk with a bunch of guys dressed as cowboys standing around him. And one guy (dressed in regular clothing) has a dog on a leash standing nearby. Once the guy finishes smearing the other guy with penis butter, the true fun begins...UNLEASH THE HOUNDS!!! The dog runs over and begins licking the peanut-butter off the guy. Meanwhile, I am watching in awe, trying to figure out what the hell I am witnessing. The guy just lays there very still while this dog goes to town, licking him like he's never been licked before (by babe OR beast). Finally, the guy flinches and a buzzer goes off. This insanity I have just witnessed is a GAME SHOW!!! (I still haven't figured out the cowboys...)
OK, That's all I got. I could tell you about the Hot-tub guys (remember the guys who run all over town in towels going from hot tub to hot tub with 3 young chicks in towels?) but it is just too dumb. I'll just tell you that that show was on AGAIN the other night and it was actually "The Best Of..." show and it showed a bunch of clips from the show's "funniest" moments. I couldn't believe a show like THAT could have a "Best Of" show. That's like having a "Best of Home Shopping Network" special. As much as I love Japanese folks, I don't think I will ever completely understand what makes them tick.
OK, I am leaving. I'll write again tomorrow from Virgin Records...maybe. Write soon, love me
OK, more on stupid TV shows. About 2 weeks ago, I was flipping through the channels at night like I ALWAYS do, looking for SOMETHING to keep me company. I was channel-surfing when suddenly a hairy nipple appeared on the TV screen. Of course, I had to stop and investigate the situation. The next thing I see is a butter knife smearing peanut-butter (more commonly referred to as 'penis-butter') on this big hairy nipple. The camera pans back and I see this guy laying on his back on the sidewalk with a bunch of guys dressed as cowboys standing around him. And one guy (dressed in regular clothing) has a dog on a leash standing nearby. Once the guy finishes smearing the other guy with penis butter, the true fun begins...UNLEASH THE HOUNDS!!! The dog runs over and begins licking the peanut-butter off the guy. Meanwhile, I am watching in awe, trying to figure out what the hell I am witnessing. The guy just lays there very still while this dog goes to town, licking him like he's never been licked before (by babe OR beast). Finally, the guy flinches and a buzzer goes off. This insanity I have just witnessed is a GAME SHOW!!! (I still haven't figured out the cowboys...)
OK, That's all I got. I could tell you about the Hot-tub guys (remember the guys who run all over town in towels going from hot tub to hot tub with 3 young chicks in towels?) but it is just too dumb. I'll just tell you that that show was on AGAIN the other night and it was actually "The Best Of..." show and it showed a bunch of clips from the show's "funniest" moments. I couldn't believe a show like THAT could have a "Best Of" show. That's like having a "Best of Home Shopping Network" special. As much as I love Japanese folks, I don't think I will ever completely understand what makes them tick.
OK, I am leaving. I'll write again tomorrow from Virgin Records...maybe. Write soon, love me
Monday, March 28, 2011
Letters from Japan: 10/6/02 "Mr. Shuffles"
Hey kids,
I was going to be cheap today and skip e-mailing but it is an addiction so here I sit with once again when I should be at the park socializing with my fellow co-workers. Anyway, I will attempt to fill you in on our second day in Hakone...
As my luck goes, the next day was a BEAUTIFUL day. The sky was clear and the sun was shining but instead of taking a second stab at seeing Mt. Fuji, Michael and I decided to shop for gifts until it was time to catch our train back to Shinjuku. One store we went into had many wooden boxes and wooden carvings with all kinds of designs on them. The boxes were neat because they were the kind that you could not open unlesss you knew the secret "code" to get in. You have to slide different parts of the box different directions to get to the secret compartment. Some boxes only required 4 "slides" to get it open, others required 8 or 12 "slides" or maneuvers. The place was not memorable because of the wooden boxes, though.. It was memorable because of the little old Japanese man that owned the shop. His shop was kind of off the beaten path so I don't think he got visitors very often. Anyway, he had about 8 hairs on his head (4 on each side) and 5 teeth in his mouth and he shuffled about the store in his slippers. He noticed our interest in the wooden boxes and quickly came over to give a demonstration. He said something to me and I said my standard, "Nihongo ga wakarimasen." (means I don't understand Japanese). I might as well have been talking to a Jehovah's Witness because he just kept on yapping in Japanese. Then he grabbed a wooden box and began his chant as he twirled the box about in his little wrinkly brown hands... "ICHI, NI, SAN, SHI!" And the box opened. He closed it again, then..."ICHI, NI, SAN, SHI!" Again, he unlocked the box with four fast finger maneuvers...."ICHI, NI, SAN, SHI!!!" Then he picked up a different box..."ICHI,NI,SAN,SHI,GO,ROKU, NANA, HACHI. The man was on a roll! He's outta control! "ICHIN,NI,SAN,SHI,GO, ROKU, NANA, HACHI! We couldn't stop him! I don't know how the madness ended but a new kind of madness was just around the corner...
Michael picked out a few different boxes, then he found a wooden geshi doll for his sister in a display cabinet next to the register and some other wooden toy that he found at the front of the store. I am giving you these "location" details for a reason. None of the gifts had prices on them. The price was written on a piece of paper that was taped on the shelf over each area. So now this little old man has to add up his customer's purchase...( 3 small wooden boxes, 4 big wooden boxes, a doll and one wooden toy). And so it began...shuffle,shuffle,shuffle over to the small wooden box counter, check the price, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back to the register. Oh, big boxes have a different price... shuffle, shuffle, shuffle over to the big wooden box counter, get the price, shuffle shuffle, shuffle back. Oh, the doll...shuffle, shuffle, shuffle over to the cabinet, check price...shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back. Then he pulls out an ABACUS to add it all up! Oh, Michael also wants the wooden toy at the front...shuffle, shuffle, shuffle to the front of the store... check the price, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back. OH! Now he has forgotten the price of the 3 small wooden boxes...Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back to the small wooden box counter and shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back to the register and slide a few things around on the abacus...what was the price on the 4 big wooden boxes? Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back to the big wooden boxes, shuffle back to the register. Start over on the abacus. Oh, how much is the wooden doll?... Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, to the cabinet, check price, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back to the register... I won't kill you anymore with this story, just know that this man LITERALLY shuffled back and forth between the toy counter, the big wooden box counter, the small wooden box counter, and the display cabinet and the register FIVE TIMES! And the only reason that number isn't MORE than FIVE is because I had to put a stop to the insanity. I finally whipped out a pen and added it all up on paper and showed it to him. Since he did not speak any English, we went back and forth talking in our own language trying to tell each other the total but as it turned out, we were saying the same thing (although he was giving us a 10 yen price break...that's like 10 cents). But the whole experience was one of those things that was so comical, you just had to love the man. So Michael took a picture of me and Mr. Shuffles afterward. This one is going in the photo album.
Once again, I have rambled on for too long about one dumb thing so I cannot finish my Hakone Day 2 story, but that just means I have material for next time! Write soon. Love me
I was going to be cheap today and skip e-mailing but it is an addiction so here I sit with once again when I should be at the park socializing with my fellow co-workers. Anyway, I will attempt to fill you in on our second day in Hakone...
As my luck goes, the next day was a BEAUTIFUL day. The sky was clear and the sun was shining but instead of taking a second stab at seeing Mt. Fuji, Michael and I decided to shop for gifts until it was time to catch our train back to Shinjuku. One store we went into had many wooden boxes and wooden carvings with all kinds of designs on them. The boxes were neat because they were the kind that you could not open unlesss you knew the secret "code" to get in. You have to slide different parts of the box different directions to get to the secret compartment. Some boxes only required 4 "slides" to get it open, others required 8 or 12 "slides" or maneuvers. The place was not memorable because of the wooden boxes, though.. It was memorable because of the little old Japanese man that owned the shop. His shop was kind of off the beaten path so I don't think he got visitors very often. Anyway, he had about 8 hairs on his head (4 on each side) and 5 teeth in his mouth and he shuffled about the store in his slippers. He noticed our interest in the wooden boxes and quickly came over to give a demonstration. He said something to me and I said my standard, "Nihongo ga wakarimasen." (means I don't understand Japanese). I might as well have been talking to a Jehovah's Witness because he just kept on yapping in Japanese. Then he grabbed a wooden box and began his chant as he twirled the box about in his little wrinkly brown hands... "ICHI, NI, SAN, SHI!" And the box opened. He closed it again, then..."ICHI, NI, SAN, SHI!" Again, he unlocked the box with four fast finger maneuvers...."ICHI, NI, SAN, SHI!!!" Then he picked up a different box..."ICHI,NI,SAN,SHI,GO,ROKU, NANA, HACHI. The man was on a roll! He's outta control! "ICHIN,NI,SAN,SHI,GO, ROKU, NANA, HACHI! We couldn't stop him! I don't know how the madness ended but a new kind of madness was just around the corner...
Michael picked out a few different boxes, then he found a wooden geshi doll for his sister in a display cabinet next to the register and some other wooden toy that he found at the front of the store. I am giving you these "location" details for a reason. None of the gifts had prices on them. The price was written on a piece of paper that was taped on the shelf over each area. So now this little old man has to add up his customer's purchase...( 3 small wooden boxes, 4 big wooden boxes, a doll and one wooden toy). And so it began...shuffle,shuffle,shuffle over to the small wooden box counter, check the price, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back to the register. Oh, big boxes have a different price... shuffle, shuffle, shuffle over to the big wooden box counter, get the price, shuffle shuffle, shuffle back. Oh, the doll...shuffle, shuffle, shuffle over to the cabinet, check price...shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back. Then he pulls out an ABACUS to add it all up! Oh, Michael also wants the wooden toy at the front...shuffle, shuffle, shuffle to the front of the store... check the price, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back. OH! Now he has forgotten the price of the 3 small wooden boxes...Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back to the small wooden box counter and shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back to the register and slide a few things around on the abacus...what was the price on the 4 big wooden boxes? Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back to the big wooden boxes, shuffle back to the register. Start over on the abacus. Oh, how much is the wooden doll?... Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, to the cabinet, check price, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle back to the register... I won't kill you anymore with this story, just know that this man LITERALLY shuffled back and forth between the toy counter, the big wooden box counter, the small wooden box counter, and the display cabinet and the register FIVE TIMES! And the only reason that number isn't MORE than FIVE is because I had to put a stop to the insanity. I finally whipped out a pen and added it all up on paper and showed it to him. Since he did not speak any English, we went back and forth talking in our own language trying to tell each other the total but as it turned out, we were saying the same thing (although he was giving us a 10 yen price break...that's like 10 cents). But the whole experience was one of those things that was so comical, you just had to love the man. So Michael took a picture of me and Mr. Shuffles afterward. This one is going in the photo album.
Once again, I have rambled on for too long about one dumb thing so I cannot finish my Hakone Day 2 story, but that just means I have material for next time! Write soon. Love me
Friday, March 25, 2011
Letters from Japan: 10/5/02 "Tempura, Teacups, and Bondage"
HELLO!
I just got back from dinner with Kazuko, and she didn't sell me into sex-slavery! After work, I went outside and waited for a man to recognize me and have me follow him into a nearby department store. See, we are not allowed to fraternize with our students so Kazuko and I have to have a clandestine meeting. Since other Nova teachers would recognize her, she had to send her husband to get me, then he took me into the department store where she was waiting. The three of us exited the back of the store and walked to the other side of Chofu station and went to the 7th floor of another department store where we had a wonderful dinner at a Japanese tempura restaurant. It was the kind of place where you take your shoes off and climb up onto a platform and sit on cushions around a low table. Our dinner lasted THREE HOURS!!! I ate more than I have in a month (accept for Hakone French dinner). It wouldn't have taken that long but Kazuko and her husband really loved to talk and they were competing with each other to talk to me. They reminded me of my aunt and uncle because they both would talk to me at the same time but eventually, one of them would back down and let the other one talk (UNlike my aunt and uncle). I think there were about 10 courses to our meal and about 10 carafes of sake. He kept filling my little glass. Later, he told me that it was Japanese custom to fill their guest's drink whenever it would get to the halfway point. The sake was actually good. It was fruity tasting (not like the sake I tried in the U.S. that tasted like warm rubbing alcohol). At the end of dinner (and dessert and coffee and tea), they handed me a present (I haven't opened it yet, but they told me it is 2 tea cups and a tea pot, a customary Japanese wedding gift). I took pictures with them so hopefully those will turn out. They were just the sweetest people. Kazuko is almost blind and she was so cute. She kept wanting to hold onto my arm instead of her husband's. She reminded me of my grandma. Her husband used to be the president of a company which had a "daughter company" in Knoxville, Tennessee so he used to travel to Knoxville once a month for a year or two (he is retired now). I told them that I want them to meet my sister so maybe we will have dinner together again when Amber comes.
In other news, I got my haircut yesterday and Miho did a really good job. It was cute because one of the other hairstylists came over to Miho while she was blow-drying my hair and said something to her. They talked back and forth for a minute, then Miho said, "She wants to blow-dry your hair, is that ok?" I said "sure," so she took a stab at it and ended up sucking my hair up into the vent of the blow-dryer within the first 30 seconds of taking over. I didn't mind because I could tell she felt horrible, she was so excited to brush a foreigner's hair. It's those "simple" pleasures in life, ya know? Kinda like my tee-shirt with Kanji writing...or my Japanese astronaut student.
A quick story before I leave (I'll have to save the rest of my Hakone stories for another day...) When I told Paul about Miho, he said that he used to date a girl named Miho but he hated introducing her to people. I was thinking, "Why, was she ugly? Did she have gunky brown teeth? Was she knock-kneed?" No. He was embarrassed because the way you pronounce Miho is "me-ho" and if you put the accent on the wrong syllable, it sounds like you are calling her your whore..." Hi, this is me ho." I found that to be very funny. Japan is FILLED with comedy. It ain't hard to find a laugh around here. Maybe that is why I don't mind the staggering drunks and the crowded trains and the cockroaches. There is a natural kind of comedy about this place. I'll miss it.
OK, just wanted you all to know that I am not dead or being sexed to death. Write soon. Love me
(Me, Miho, and the girl who sucked my hair into the blow dryer...not in that order)
(Me, Kazuko, and her hubby)
I just got back from dinner with Kazuko, and she didn't sell me into sex-slavery! After work, I went outside and waited for a man to recognize me and have me follow him into a nearby department store. See, we are not allowed to fraternize with our students so Kazuko and I have to have a clandestine meeting. Since other Nova teachers would recognize her, she had to send her husband to get me, then he took me into the department store where she was waiting. The three of us exited the back of the store and walked to the other side of Chofu station and went to the 7th floor of another department store where we had a wonderful dinner at a Japanese tempura restaurant. It was the kind of place where you take your shoes off and climb up onto a platform and sit on cushions around a low table. Our dinner lasted THREE HOURS!!! I ate more than I have in a month (accept for Hakone French dinner). It wouldn't have taken that long but Kazuko and her husband really loved to talk and they were competing with each other to talk to me. They reminded me of my aunt and uncle because they both would talk to me at the same time but eventually, one of them would back down and let the other one talk (UNlike my aunt and uncle). I think there were about 10 courses to our meal and about 10 carafes of sake. He kept filling my little glass. Later, he told me that it was Japanese custom to fill their guest's drink whenever it would get to the halfway point. The sake was actually good. It was fruity tasting (not like the sake I tried in the U.S. that tasted like warm rubbing alcohol). At the end of dinner (and dessert and coffee and tea), they handed me a present (I haven't opened it yet, but they told me it is 2 tea cups and a tea pot, a customary Japanese wedding gift). I took pictures with them so hopefully those will turn out. They were just the sweetest people. Kazuko is almost blind and she was so cute. She kept wanting to hold onto my arm instead of her husband's. She reminded me of my grandma. Her husband used to be the president of a company which had a "daughter company" in Knoxville, Tennessee so he used to travel to Knoxville once a month for a year or two (he is retired now). I told them that I want them to meet my sister so maybe we will have dinner together again when Amber comes.
In other news, I got my haircut yesterday and Miho did a really good job. It was cute because one of the other hairstylists came over to Miho while she was blow-drying my hair and said something to her. They talked back and forth for a minute, then Miho said, "She wants to blow-dry your hair, is that ok?" I said "sure," so she took a stab at it and ended up sucking my hair up into the vent of the blow-dryer within the first 30 seconds of taking over. I didn't mind because I could tell she felt horrible, she was so excited to brush a foreigner's hair. It's those "simple" pleasures in life, ya know? Kinda like my tee-shirt with Kanji writing...or my Japanese astronaut student.
A quick story before I leave (I'll have to save the rest of my Hakone stories for another day...) When I told Paul about Miho, he said that he used to date a girl named Miho but he hated introducing her to people. I was thinking, "Why, was she ugly? Did she have gunky brown teeth? Was she knock-kneed?" No. He was embarrassed because the way you pronounce Miho is "me-ho" and if you put the accent on the wrong syllable, it sounds like you are calling her your whore..." Hi, this is me ho." I found that to be very funny. Japan is FILLED with comedy. It ain't hard to find a laugh around here. Maybe that is why I don't mind the staggering drunks and the crowded trains and the cockroaches. There is a natural kind of comedy about this place. I'll miss it.
OK, just wanted you all to know that I am not dead or being sexed to death. Write soon. Love me
(Me, Miho, and the girl who sucked my hair into the blow dryer...not in that order)
(Me, Kazuko, and her hubby)
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Letter from Japan: 10/4/02 "Hakone: The Japanese Synonym for Hell"
OK, I decided to break up the e-mails into parts because that last one was really long and I didn't want to scare you off. I'll just break it off into bite-size pieces for you. Just like how your ma used to cut your meat up for you...
OK, Day 2:
Michael and I get up at 7:30 am to catch our train to Hakone. (I am rather proud of myself for pulling that whole thing together.) We get ready and head out the
door to find that it is RAINING! Of all the freaking days to be crappy, NOW IS NOT THE DAY! But we already have our tickets and our hotel reserved so rain be damned, we are going! We get to the train station in Shinjuku and find our train to Hakone without much fuss. I have paid a little extra to ride in the "Romance Car" and what I have found is that Japanese folks have a TOTALLY DIFFERENT idea of what "Romance" means. Maybe the meaning got lost in the translation and what they THINK romance means is "Burning flames of hell." What else do you call a train car full of
loud drunken Japanese businessmen and 5 squealing kids? "Burning Flames of Passion?" More like "Burning Flames of Hemorrhoids." Fortunately, (there is a
fortunately here), the businessmen get off at the first stop. Now Michael is getting thirsty because we really didn't take time for breakfast. The server-lady keeps walking by us but she is too quick to grab and Michael is having difficulty yelling "Sumimasen!" So after about 45 minutes, I decide to go wrestle her to the ground to get a drink. I jump up and follow her to the back car where she keeps disappearing to. She seems a bit surprised but too bad, give me a Coke! I buy a can of Coke that is the size of the cardboard in a toilet paper roll for 200 yen. I return to Michael victorious with my toilet paper roll.
We get to Hakone about 1.5 hours later. Our first mission is to find our hotel so we can drop off our suitcases. We can't check in until 6:00pm but we can't ride around Hakone with all our worldly possessions so we see if they can store them for us until we can check in. We find our hotel without a problem and ask about check in and baggage storage. They have me sign a couple things and ask what we want for dinner, we have our choice of Chinese, Japanese, or French. Dinner? I told the travel again lady that I didn't want dinner included in our package because it was a million more dollars. But now they are giving it to us (maybe I paid for it after all...) so we decide on French food (since I need a break from Chinese and Japanese). We fill out all the necessary stuff and head back to the train station to begin our sight-seeing tour...in the fog and rain. We get on another train that seems to be going up the mountainside forever. Michael is so sick of planes, trains,
and automobiles by now, he is about to scream. So we get off at a place that has a Picasso Open Art Garden. That sounds cool, Art in the Park...We find the place
and I'm sure it is quite a sight...if you could see through the fog. Instead, we head into the store where they have all sorts of gifts and funky, cool stuff. We ohhh and ahhh at a bunch of stuff, but I just end up walking out with a tee-shirt that says "Japan" in Kanji (I have been craving a tee-shirt with Kanji on it ever since my disappointing tee-shirt experience with Hiroki). So we leave and decide to
attempt to take a few pictures in front of of the Open Art Garden place next to this huge funky water fountain. I think the pictures really captured the "essence" of our day...
From there, we caught the next train and from there, we caught the cable car that took us further up into the mountains. We got off at the top and hit a few
more souvenir shops. Pretty much, they all had the same crap so that was getting depressing. One of the last places we went to had a postcard machine that was pretty cool. It had pictures of scenery all over Hakone and you take a picture in the booth and it super-imposes your picture on the card so you look like you are standing next to Mt. Fuji. Since we couldn't get any REAL pictures, we decided to have a postcard made. Now this sounds like a simple tasks, but read on and you shall see how Tenacious C had to come to the rescue again. We climbed behind the
curtain and all I had was paper yen which the machine did not take. So Michael and I decided to pay for our souvenirs first so we had change to put in the machine. So we climbed back out and paid for our stuff and came back. I put my 500 yen piece in the machine (it cost 400 yen). The machine only takes 100 yen coins so I have to run back out and ask the sales clerk for change for my 500 yen piece. I run back to
the machine and put in the four 100 yen pieces. FINALLY!!! NOW, to create our postcard masterpiece!...OK, what is this? THE DIRECTIONS ARE WRITTEN IN KANJI!!! I poke my head out of the curtain to find a poor, unsuspecting Japanese person to come read to us..."Sumimasen. SUMIMASEN!" The old lady standing 10 feet away pretends like she can't hear me. I exit the machine ONCE AGAIN to go in search of help. I find a guy and say my usual, "Anatawa eigo ga warimas ka?" He looks at me and in plain English says, "Yeah, I speak English." KUSO! This guy is an American in a
Japanese man's body! I feel dumb..."Can you read Kanji?" "Not really" but he follows me back to the machine and another Japanese guy senses our confusion and joins us. Now we have 4 people piled behind this tiny blue curtain all trying to figure out this machine. The other Japanese guy knows enough English to assist us so we pick out what background we want and take the picture. The machine takes 60 seconds to develop the picture on screen and we have the option to try again if we don't like it. I look like Popeye with one squinted eye so I want to do it again. We hit "Cancel" and MORE Kanji pops up on the screen. Japanese man to the rescue again. He tells us what it says and presses the right button for us and we take another picture and AGAIN, I do the Popeye thing! What is up with that? So we need the Japanese guy to help again but this time, we don't have to ask because he has decided to stand right outside the curtain and wait for our pleas for help. The THIRD picture is taken and fortunately, this one is the best. Fortunately, I say, because then the computer boots you out, you only get 3 shots to get it right. We
wait 60 seconds and the machine spits out our postcard, happy to be rid of us.
I'll skip all the stories about out rides on the ropeways and sight-seeing ship because you basically already know how that went. It was just one ride after another through a thick white cloud (although that didn't stop Michael from taking pictures...)
So we get back to the hotel (after cutting our trip short...we skipped the "scenic walk" because it was already almost pitch black by that time). We make our way back to the hotel, excited to relax for an hour before dinner. We get to the front desk and the guy tells us that they made a mistake and that dinner was NOT included in our package but they kept our reservation if we want to pay. Michael says we will
just pay, that is fine. We don't feel like leaving the hotel in search of a decent meal. So we get our stuff and a cute little Japanese girl shows us to our
room...our room with two twin beds...
Could this trip possibly get any worse? That is the question that always tempts fate and I think we did just that. We take a nap, then head down to dinner.
I am laughing as I write this because it is so sad, you just have to laugh. We walk into the restaurant and the hostess seats us and hands us our menus. The menus are written in French and the only thing that I CAN read is the price...8,500 yen...gulp(roughly $85 bucks a plate.) But price is not the only issue here. We have bigger issues. We can't read the menu and the wait-staff can't speak English. The waitress struggles to understand my question of "What is this" as I point to different words on the menu. Meanwhile, a waiter decides he is going to help out and begins trying to "assist" Michael with his menu. So for the next ten
minutes, we go back and forth with our respective wait-staff and Michael is looking across the table at me like "Get me the hell out of here!" We finally end up ordering to the best of our collaborative ability and now we wait...
The first course comes and I wonder "Is this $85 bucks???" I have seen those fu-fu dinners before where you pay a million dollars and get two turds of meat on your plate with a splash of hollandaise sauce and a sprig of parsley. Was this it??? Now Michael is looking sicker by the minute because this golf-ball size serving of mystery meat is raw. But i dive in because I am starving. I have eaten raw salmon before and it is not bad. As it ends up, this raw piece of fish is covering a ball of crab meat and it is actually decent tasting (at least I think). Michael didn't like his mystery meat so I get two servings. The next course was some really lame soup with two or three tiny cubes of carrots and potatoes hiding at the bottom. Then came a VERY thin piece of fish that I THOUGHT was my main dish...good thing I filled up on bread! So I finish and feel sorry for Michael thinking they brought him the wrong thing (he doesn't care for fish but he won't let me tell the waitress to take it back) but as it turns out, that was just ANOTHER course to our 6 course meal. They finally bring out the main course but I am already full. FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I HAVE BEEN IN JAPAN, I AM FULL! I try to eat the whole thing, but I can't. I can't even eat dessert! The waitress seems so disturbed that I turned down my dessert that she sends out a lady with the dessert on a tray anyway, just to make
ABSOLUTE sure that I don't want it. It is only a little tart about the size of the mystery meat ball appetizer but they really wanted me to eat it. But I passed and sent the jilted waitress back to the kitchen with her tart.
OK, as much fun as I am having rehashing our weekend from hell, I have to get going. Miho is cutting my hair in an hour and I have to make sure I give myself
enough time to find this place...to be continued...maybe.
Love me
OK, Day 2:
Michael and I get up at 7:30 am to catch our train to Hakone. (I am rather proud of myself for pulling that whole thing together.) We get ready and head out the
door to find that it is RAINING! Of all the freaking days to be crappy, NOW IS NOT THE DAY! But we already have our tickets and our hotel reserved so rain be damned, we are going! We get to the train station in Shinjuku and find our train to Hakone without much fuss. I have paid a little extra to ride in the "Romance Car" and what I have found is that Japanese folks have a TOTALLY DIFFERENT idea of what "Romance" means. Maybe the meaning got lost in the translation and what they THINK romance means is "Burning flames of hell." What else do you call a train car full of
loud drunken Japanese businessmen and 5 squealing kids? "Burning Flames of Passion?" More like "Burning Flames of Hemorrhoids." Fortunately, (there is a
fortunately here), the businessmen get off at the first stop. Now Michael is getting thirsty because we really didn't take time for breakfast. The server-lady keeps walking by us but she is too quick to grab and Michael is having difficulty yelling "Sumimasen!" So after about 45 minutes, I decide to go wrestle her to the ground to get a drink. I jump up and follow her to the back car where she keeps disappearing to. She seems a bit surprised but too bad, give me a Coke! I buy a can of Coke that is the size of the cardboard in a toilet paper roll for 200 yen. I return to Michael victorious with my toilet paper roll.
We get to Hakone about 1.5 hours later. Our first mission is to find our hotel so we can drop off our suitcases. We can't check in until 6:00pm but we can't ride around Hakone with all our worldly possessions so we see if they can store them for us until we can check in. We find our hotel without a problem and ask about check in and baggage storage. They have me sign a couple things and ask what we want for dinner, we have our choice of Chinese, Japanese, or French. Dinner? I told the travel again lady that I didn't want dinner included in our package because it was a million more dollars. But now they are giving it to us (maybe I paid for it after all...) so we decide on French food (since I need a break from Chinese and Japanese). We fill out all the necessary stuff and head back to the train station to begin our sight-seeing tour...in the fog and rain. We get on another train that seems to be going up the mountainside forever. Michael is so sick of planes, trains,
and automobiles by now, he is about to scream. So we get off at a place that has a Picasso Open Art Garden. That sounds cool, Art in the Park...We find the place
and I'm sure it is quite a sight...if you could see through the fog. Instead, we head into the store where they have all sorts of gifts and funky, cool stuff. We ohhh and ahhh at a bunch of stuff, but I just end up walking out with a tee-shirt that says "Japan" in Kanji (I have been craving a tee-shirt with Kanji on it ever since my disappointing tee-shirt experience with Hiroki). So we leave and decide to
attempt to take a few pictures in front of of the Open Art Garden place next to this huge funky water fountain. I think the pictures really captured the "essence" of our day...
From there, we caught the next train and from there, we caught the cable car that took us further up into the mountains. We got off at the top and hit a few
more souvenir shops. Pretty much, they all had the same crap so that was getting depressing. One of the last places we went to had a postcard machine that was pretty cool. It had pictures of scenery all over Hakone and you take a picture in the booth and it super-imposes your picture on the card so you look like you are standing next to Mt. Fuji. Since we couldn't get any REAL pictures, we decided to have a postcard made. Now this sounds like a simple tasks, but read on and you shall see how Tenacious C had to come to the rescue again. We climbed behind the
curtain and all I had was paper yen which the machine did not take. So Michael and I decided to pay for our souvenirs first so we had change to put in the machine. So we climbed back out and paid for our stuff and came back. I put my 500 yen piece in the machine (it cost 400 yen). The machine only takes 100 yen coins so I have to run back out and ask the sales clerk for change for my 500 yen piece. I run back to
the machine and put in the four 100 yen pieces. FINALLY!!! NOW, to create our postcard masterpiece!...OK, what is this? THE DIRECTIONS ARE WRITTEN IN KANJI!!! I poke my head out of the curtain to find a poor, unsuspecting Japanese person to come read to us..."Sumimasen. SUMIMASEN!" The old lady standing 10 feet away pretends like she can't hear me. I exit the machine ONCE AGAIN to go in search of help. I find a guy and say my usual, "Anatawa eigo ga warimas ka?" He looks at me and in plain English says, "Yeah, I speak English." KUSO! This guy is an American in a
Japanese man's body! I feel dumb..."Can you read Kanji?" "Not really" but he follows me back to the machine and another Japanese guy senses our confusion and joins us. Now we have 4 people piled behind this tiny blue curtain all trying to figure out this machine. The other Japanese guy knows enough English to assist us so we pick out what background we want and take the picture. The machine takes 60 seconds to develop the picture on screen and we have the option to try again if we don't like it. I look like Popeye with one squinted eye so I want to do it again. We hit "Cancel" and MORE Kanji pops up on the screen. Japanese man to the rescue again. He tells us what it says and presses the right button for us and we take another picture and AGAIN, I do the Popeye thing! What is up with that? So we need the Japanese guy to help again but this time, we don't have to ask because he has decided to stand right outside the curtain and wait for our pleas for help. The THIRD picture is taken and fortunately, this one is the best. Fortunately, I say, because then the computer boots you out, you only get 3 shots to get it right. We
wait 60 seconds and the machine spits out our postcard, happy to be rid of us.
I'll skip all the stories about out rides on the ropeways and sight-seeing ship because you basically already know how that went. It was just one ride after another through a thick white cloud (although that didn't stop Michael from taking pictures...)
So we get back to the hotel (after cutting our trip short...we skipped the "scenic walk" because it was already almost pitch black by that time). We make our way back to the hotel, excited to relax for an hour before dinner. We get to the front desk and the guy tells us that they made a mistake and that dinner was NOT included in our package but they kept our reservation if we want to pay. Michael says we will
just pay, that is fine. We don't feel like leaving the hotel in search of a decent meal. So we get our stuff and a cute little Japanese girl shows us to our
room...our room with two twin beds...
Could this trip possibly get any worse? That is the question that always tempts fate and I think we did just that. We take a nap, then head down to dinner.
I am laughing as I write this because it is so sad, you just have to laugh. We walk into the restaurant and the hostess seats us and hands us our menus. The menus are written in French and the only thing that I CAN read is the price...8,500 yen...gulp(roughly $85 bucks a plate.) But price is not the only issue here. We have bigger issues. We can't read the menu and the wait-staff can't speak English. The waitress struggles to understand my question of "What is this" as I point to different words on the menu. Meanwhile, a waiter decides he is going to help out and begins trying to "assist" Michael with his menu. So for the next ten
minutes, we go back and forth with our respective wait-staff and Michael is looking across the table at me like "Get me the hell out of here!" We finally end up ordering to the best of our collaborative ability and now we wait...
The first course comes and I wonder "Is this $85 bucks???" I have seen those fu-fu dinners before where you pay a million dollars and get two turds of meat on your plate with a splash of hollandaise sauce and a sprig of parsley. Was this it??? Now Michael is looking sicker by the minute because this golf-ball size serving of mystery meat is raw. But i dive in because I am starving. I have eaten raw salmon before and it is not bad. As it ends up, this raw piece of fish is covering a ball of crab meat and it is actually decent tasting (at least I think). Michael didn't like his mystery meat so I get two servings. The next course was some really lame soup with two or three tiny cubes of carrots and potatoes hiding at the bottom. Then came a VERY thin piece of fish that I THOUGHT was my main dish...good thing I filled up on bread! So I finish and feel sorry for Michael thinking they brought him the wrong thing (he doesn't care for fish but he won't let me tell the waitress to take it back) but as it turns out, that was just ANOTHER course to our 6 course meal. They finally bring out the main course but I am already full. FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I HAVE BEEN IN JAPAN, I AM FULL! I try to eat the whole thing, but I can't. I can't even eat dessert! The waitress seems so disturbed that I turned down my dessert that she sends out a lady with the dessert on a tray anyway, just to make
ABSOLUTE sure that I don't want it. It is only a little tart about the size of the mystery meat ball appetizer but they really wanted me to eat it. But I passed and sent the jilted waitress back to the kitchen with her tart.
OK, as much fun as I am having rehashing our weekend from hell, I have to get going. Miho is cutting my hair in an hour and I have to make sure I give myself
enough time to find this place...to be continued...maybe.
Love me
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Letters from Japan: 10/4/02 Riddle of the Morning Knocker/Day 1
YAAAAAAAAWWWWWWNNNNNN!
Why am I yawning, you ask? I had the pleasant
experience of being awakened this morning on my ONE
DAY OFF by a knock-knock-knockin' at my door. Before
you read the answer to "Who was it?" take a
guess...who will find you no matter where you hide?
Let me give you another hint...the first words out of
her mouth were, "We are here to talk about how to
share encouraging words with others." Now granted,
this is not the USUAL opening line, but it may have
been tweaked a bit by Japanese folks. I shared a few
encouraging words of my own with her and closed the
door (not really, but it sounded funny, I just said
that now is not a good time). Now if you still
haven't guessed, consider yourself fortunate or well
hidden. OK, one more guess..."Watch Tower"...YES!
Japanese Jehovah's Witnesses! AUGH!!! After that
disturbing experience, I couldn't go back to sleep so
I decided to get up and make my way to Virgin Records
to begin composing my LOOOONG e-mail about my
adventures with Michael.
I hopped the train to Chofu and got off to wait
for the express train to Shinjuku. I was only on the
platform for 2 minutes before an American came up to
me and immediately the hairs on the back of my neck
stood up..."Have you heard about the 'Truth?'" WHAT?!
ANOTHER ONE?!!! They are invading Japan like
COCKROACHES! I said, "Yeah, I know all about the
truth. The truth is, you people are really pissin' me
off (again, I didn't really say that, but it would
have been funny). I did tell her that some of her
friends already paid me a visit this morning and I
wasn't interested in what they had to say. Of course,
like any good sales-person, she pressed on to find out
what I knew about Jehovah's Witnesses and I told her
my biological father is one and he is a big fat loser
like all other weak-brained "Witnesses" (again...I
exaggerate...) At this point, I think she knew that
she was fighting a losing battle but she didn't know
how to walk away gracefully so she decided to fumble
through her "encouraging" words until the express
train came. I wanted to tell her that a lot of truth
can be found in some good saki but instead I got on
the train and was thankful that my accostment (made-up word) was
short-lived.
OK, there is not much of a segue here because
this originally was just going to be all about
Michael's visit so now I am just going to switch gears
and go back to last Friday. Michael's plane was
arriving at 4:00pm and i had no clue how to get to the
airport so I decided to start the journey at noon. I
could have taken the Narita Express directly to the
airport and not worried about a thing but I was
feeling cheap (it costs $30 just to get there) and
adventurous so I was going to figure out a way to get
there just riding the cheap trains. I decided that I
would be SMART about it though and take along my EXTRA
LARGE map of the JR lines. This was a map that NOVA
gave to me when I first came here. So off I went with
my huge map in a plastic bag (it was too big to fit in
my purse) and my umbrella (it was a miserable day).
The first train was easy, just hop a train to
Shinjuku. But then it started to get tricky. There
are many trains that leave from Shinjuku and the real
trick was finding the one that went east. The first
train I got on went by the first stop and I looked at
my map to see that I was going in the right direction,
but by the second stop, I discovered I was going
south, so I jumped off the train, went back to Shijuku
and said, "OK, let's try this again..." I walked
around until I found the Chuo line and hopped on
again. Well, this train was a local train and stopped
at EVERY stop. At this rate, it will take FOREVER to
get there. So I hop off a couple stops down to catch
the express train. I find the express train and jump
on and pull out my map. as it turns out, the express
line bypasses the next station that I need to go to,
so I have to get off the train and go back and catch
the local one again so that i can get to the correct
station. Now once I am at this last station, I breath
a sigh of relief knowing that I will be riding this
train all the way to the last train that will take me
to the airport. I didn't sleep a wink the night
before, so I find a nice seat and close my eyes,
knowing that I have a long ride ahead of me. i don't
need to pay attention to things for a while...or so I
thought. After about 20 minutes, I realize that the
train has been stopped at this particular station for
quite a while. I open my eyes and look around and
ONCE AGAIN, I find that I am the only person sitting
on the train (how does this keep happening to me?) I
jump up and as I am about to get off, I look to my
right and in the other car, I see someone sitting
there. So I decide that maybe I am OK after all, and I
sit back down. About 2 minutes later, a few more
people get on and the train closes its doors and I
close my eyes and take a breath, ready to continue
with my cat nap. OK, wait a minute. Something
doesn't feel right. Are we going in the opposite
direction? The next station we come to sounds very
familiar..IT'S FAMILIAR BECAUSE WE JUST STOPPED THERE
10 MINUTES AGO!!!!!! The train is heading back to
Shinjuku! HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN???!!! So I
jump off at the next stop and wait for the next train
and go BACK to where I had just come from and realize
that even though the map shows the train line going
all the way to Chiba, IT LIED!!! I have to hop
another train across the platform to get to Chiba.
OK, now I am on the right train, but I think I'll keep
my eyes open for the rest of the way. I finally make
it to the LAST train stop before the Narita Airport
train that goes directly to the airport. But unlike
all the other trains that come by every 5 minutes or
so, this train only comes by every HOUR! So I have 40
minutes to wait in the freezing cold. I pull out my
map to inspect the situation again. Ihe immensity of
my map draws attention and soon I have a Canadian guy
asking me about it. He said that the only maps he can
find are written in Kanji and Hiragana. He writes
down the phone number on my map so he can call and
order himself one and we begin to talk. He says he is
in Japan just exploring, having life adventures (how
can so many kids afford to do that these days?) I
tell him about Michael and how we are going to Hakone
and he pulls out his map to try to find Hakone. He
decides to ask the old Japanese lady next to us where
Hakone is on his map. So she starts talking to us
until their train comes. We say our good-byes and
they get on their train. I turn my back and start
looking for my train, hoping that there is a mistake
in the schedule and that I won't have to wait 40
minutes. A minute later, I hear, "Excuse me" and I
turn around to see the same little Japanese lady that
I was just talking to. Apparently, her train is on a
schedule so it is sitting there for 5 or 10 more
minutes, so she has decided to come back out and talk
with me. She is so cute. She tells me that she used
to teach English for many years at a high school until
her husband got sick. She tells me that she is very
excited to talk with me and practice her English with
an American. We talk until the last boarding call and
she thanks me for talking to her and tells me that I
am a very nice person. And she climbs on her train
and leaves.
Fifteen minutes later, my train comes and I climb
on thinking- MAN, this train is WAY better than all
those trains I have been riding...nice, plush seats
that recline...aaaahhhhh! I think I will take another
cat nap...then, five minutes into my ride..."Ticket
please!" WHAT? What do you mean TICKET? I fumble
through my purse and show him what I KNOW is not the
ticket he wants and he gestures for me to get up and
follow him. I am booted to the cheap seats in the
adjoining car, treated like a second class citizen, a
peasant, if you will, a stupid foreigner trying to
sneak into the luxury section. All the other peasants
turn to see who this outlaw is, this curious American
being escorted out of the luxury car and into the
cheap seats. I find a seat on the familiar orange
velvet bench seat, trying to look confident and
unaffected. HOW WAS I TO KNOW?
What should have taken me about 2 hours was a 4
hour ordeal but I managed to make it to the airport
before Michael climbed off the plane. I find Michael
with no problem and we get his money converted into
yen and find the Narita Express to take us back to
Shinjuku. I have decided not to take the cheap route
back with Michael. He may kill me before we reach the
station. He says he doesn't mind paying extra to just
take a direct train so we buy our tickets (which only
ended up being $16 a piece. I thought they were more
expensive...) We find our way to the Narita Express
platform and hang out for a while until the train
comes. Again, this train is much more luxurious than
all the trains I have been hopping on and off of all
day and once again, I sink into a comfy seat, this
time, without guilt because we have paid the piper up
front...or so we thought...
Ten minutes into the ride..."Tickets, please!"
We pull out our tickets and we are in the wrong
section, AGAIN! But instead of being banished to the
peasant section, the guy rings up a few things on his
handy-dandy little piece of hand-held electronic
equipment and tells us to give him a million more
dollars (actually about $40 or $50 more). Michael
says not to worry about it and pays and we stay in our
plush seats and talk and relax the rest of the way
(accept for when Michael thought he was going to get
motion sickness from the train). And so begins our
first day together.
Why am I yawning, you ask? I had the pleasant
experience of being awakened this morning on my ONE
DAY OFF by a knock-knock-knockin' at my door. Before
you read the answer to "Who was it?" take a
guess...who will find you no matter where you hide?
Let me give you another hint...the first words out of
her mouth were, "We are here to talk about how to
share encouraging words with others." Now granted,
this is not the USUAL opening line, but it may have
been tweaked a bit by Japanese folks. I shared a few
encouraging words of my own with her and closed the
door (not really, but it sounded funny, I just said
that now is not a good time). Now if you still
haven't guessed, consider yourself fortunate or well
hidden. OK, one more guess..."Watch Tower"...YES!
Japanese Jehovah's Witnesses! AUGH!!! After that
disturbing experience, I couldn't go back to sleep so
I decided to get up and make my way to Virgin Records
to begin composing my LOOOONG e-mail about my
adventures with Michael.
I hopped the train to Chofu and got off to wait
for the express train to Shinjuku. I was only on the
platform for 2 minutes before an American came up to
me and immediately the hairs on the back of my neck
stood up..."Have you heard about the 'Truth?'" WHAT?!
ANOTHER ONE?!!! They are invading Japan like
COCKROACHES! I said, "Yeah, I know all about the
truth. The truth is, you people are really pissin' me
off (again, I didn't really say that, but it would
have been funny). I did tell her that some of her
friends already paid me a visit this morning and I
wasn't interested in what they had to say. Of course,
like any good sales-person, she pressed on to find out
what I knew about Jehovah's Witnesses and I told her
my biological father is one and he is a big fat loser
like all other weak-brained "Witnesses" (again...I
exaggerate...) At this point, I think she knew that
she was fighting a losing battle but she didn't know
how to walk away gracefully so she decided to fumble
through her "encouraging" words until the express
train came. I wanted to tell her that a lot of truth
can be found in some good saki but instead I got on
the train and was thankful that my accostment (made-up word) was
short-lived.
OK, there is not much of a segue here because
this originally was just going to be all about
Michael's visit so now I am just going to switch gears
and go back to last Friday. Michael's plane was
arriving at 4:00pm and i had no clue how to get to the
airport so I decided to start the journey at noon. I
could have taken the Narita Express directly to the
airport and not worried about a thing but I was
feeling cheap (it costs $30 just to get there) and
adventurous so I was going to figure out a way to get
there just riding the cheap trains. I decided that I
would be SMART about it though and take along my EXTRA
LARGE map of the JR lines. This was a map that NOVA
gave to me when I first came here. So off I went with
my huge map in a plastic bag (it was too big to fit in
my purse) and my umbrella (it was a miserable day).
The first train was easy, just hop a train to
Shinjuku. But then it started to get tricky. There
are many trains that leave from Shinjuku and the real
trick was finding the one that went east. The first
train I got on went by the first stop and I looked at
my map to see that I was going in the right direction,
but by the second stop, I discovered I was going
south, so I jumped off the train, went back to Shijuku
and said, "OK, let's try this again..." I walked
around until I found the Chuo line and hopped on
again. Well, this train was a local train and stopped
at EVERY stop. At this rate, it will take FOREVER to
get there. So I hop off a couple stops down to catch
the express train. I find the express train and jump
on and pull out my map. as it turns out, the express
line bypasses the next station that I need to go to,
so I have to get off the train and go back and catch
the local one again so that i can get to the correct
station. Now once I am at this last station, I breath
a sigh of relief knowing that I will be riding this
train all the way to the last train that will take me
to the airport. I didn't sleep a wink the night
before, so I find a nice seat and close my eyes,
knowing that I have a long ride ahead of me. i don't
need to pay attention to things for a while...or so I
thought. After about 20 minutes, I realize that the
train has been stopped at this particular station for
quite a while. I open my eyes and look around and
ONCE AGAIN, I find that I am the only person sitting
on the train (how does this keep happening to me?) I
jump up and as I am about to get off, I look to my
right and in the other car, I see someone sitting
there. So I decide that maybe I am OK after all, and I
sit back down. About 2 minutes later, a few more
people get on and the train closes its doors and I
close my eyes and take a breath, ready to continue
with my cat nap. OK, wait a minute. Something
doesn't feel right. Are we going in the opposite
direction? The next station we come to sounds very
familiar..IT'S FAMILIAR BECAUSE WE JUST STOPPED THERE
10 MINUTES AGO!!!!!! The train is heading back to
Shinjuku! HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN???!!! So I
jump off at the next stop and wait for the next train
and go BACK to where I had just come from and realize
that even though the map shows the train line going
all the way to Chiba, IT LIED!!! I have to hop
another train across the platform to get to Chiba.
OK, now I am on the right train, but I think I'll keep
my eyes open for the rest of the way. I finally make
it to the LAST train stop before the Narita Airport
train that goes directly to the airport. But unlike
all the other trains that come by every 5 minutes or
so, this train only comes by every HOUR! So I have 40
minutes to wait in the freezing cold. I pull out my
map to inspect the situation again. Ihe immensity of
my map draws attention and soon I have a Canadian guy
asking me about it. He said that the only maps he can
find are written in Kanji and Hiragana. He writes
down the phone number on my map so he can call and
order himself one and we begin to talk. He says he is
in Japan just exploring, having life adventures (how
can so many kids afford to do that these days?) I
tell him about Michael and how we are going to Hakone
and he pulls out his map to try to find Hakone. He
decides to ask the old Japanese lady next to us where
Hakone is on his map. So she starts talking to us
until their train comes. We say our good-byes and
they get on their train. I turn my back and start
looking for my train, hoping that there is a mistake
in the schedule and that I won't have to wait 40
minutes. A minute later, I hear, "Excuse me" and I
turn around to see the same little Japanese lady that
I was just talking to. Apparently, her train is on a
schedule so it is sitting there for 5 or 10 more
minutes, so she has decided to come back out and talk
with me. She is so cute. She tells me that she used
to teach English for many years at a high school until
her husband got sick. She tells me that she is very
excited to talk with me and practice her English with
an American. We talk until the last boarding call and
she thanks me for talking to her and tells me that I
am a very nice person. And she climbs on her train
and leaves.
Fifteen minutes later, my train comes and I climb
on thinking- MAN, this train is WAY better than all
those trains I have been riding...nice, plush seats
that recline...aaaahhhhh! I think I will take another
cat nap...then, five minutes into my ride..."Ticket
please!" WHAT? What do you mean TICKET? I fumble
through my purse and show him what I KNOW is not the
ticket he wants and he gestures for me to get up and
follow him. I am booted to the cheap seats in the
adjoining car, treated like a second class citizen, a
peasant, if you will, a stupid foreigner trying to
sneak into the luxury section. All the other peasants
turn to see who this outlaw is, this curious American
being escorted out of the luxury car and into the
cheap seats. I find a seat on the familiar orange
velvet bench seat, trying to look confident and
unaffected. HOW WAS I TO KNOW?
What should have taken me about 2 hours was a 4
hour ordeal but I managed to make it to the airport
before Michael climbed off the plane. I find Michael
with no problem and we get his money converted into
yen and find the Narita Express to take us back to
Shinjuku. I have decided not to take the cheap route
back with Michael. He may kill me before we reach the
station. He says he doesn't mind paying extra to just
take a direct train so we buy our tickets (which only
ended up being $16 a piece. I thought they were more
expensive...) We find our way to the Narita Express
platform and hang out for a while until the train
comes. Again, this train is much more luxurious than
all the trains I have been hopping on and off of all
day and once again, I sink into a comfy seat, this
time, without guilt because we have paid the piper up
front...or so we thought...
Ten minutes into the ride..."Tickets, please!"
We pull out our tickets and we are in the wrong
section, AGAIN! But instead of being banished to the
peasant section, the guy rings up a few things on his
handy-dandy little piece of hand-held electronic
equipment and tells us to give him a million more
dollars (actually about $40 or $50 more). Michael
says not to worry about it and pays and we stay in our
plush seats and talk and relax the rest of the way
(accept for when Michael thought he was going to get
motion sickness from the train). And so begins our
first day together.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Letters from Japan: 8/31/02 More Tales About Absolutely Nothing
Hi Kids!
I had a whole list of things that I wanted to write about but of course it is at home. The big news is that I now have the skinny on the seal...his name is Tomachan and he has made his way into some REALLY polluted lake. The big controversy is whether or not they should try to remove him from the crappy water. They have decided to leave him alone and keep an eye on him to see if his health starts to deteriorate. I'm sure you have all been on the edge of your seats waiting for THAT bit of news...
What else...OH, the Ghost of Cockroach Past paid a visit to me last night. When I walked into the house, I thought I saw a shadow out of the corner of my eye race into the silverware drawer. Sure enough, IT WAS HIM! He came back to haunt me. This time, I knew what to do though. I am mastering the art of coackroach killing, although I still refuse to squish him. But after a few laps around the couch-like-thing on the kitchen floor, I had him sprayed and sprawling on his back, gasping for one last breath. Then I swept him outside. I haven't checked on him today but there is a typhoon coming again so maybe he will get washed away.
After many hours of e-mailing yesterday, I treated myself to a somewhat expensive dinner. I was bound and determined to be satiated by at least ONE meal while I am here. So not only did I have a main course, I also had soup and dessert! The place was kind of cool. It was on the 3rd or 4th floor of a big department store over the train station. I think it was called the Green Tea Room. It was the Japanese version of a nice Italian restaurant and it overlooked Shinjuku. One whole wall is just a huge window so I asked for a window seat so I could people-watch while I waited for my meal. I am getting used to doing things by myself. Lots of people eat alone here, too, so it does not feel that weird. So that was my big eventful evening yesterday. Never did make it to the Emperial Gardens.
I had one breakthrough yesterday. I was walking down the street in Shinjuku and I saw a taxi along the side of the street and it was slowly rolling forward. It scared me at first because, at first glance, it looked like the driver had fallen asleep. He looked like he was about 50 or 60 years old and he had both arms wrapped around the steering wheel and his head resting on his arms. All you could see was 2 eyes peering over his arms. I looked at him as I was walking until I realized that he was not sleeping, then I smiled at him because the poor guy looked pathetic and tired and bored out of his gourd. So I just kept walking and smiling at him and then, all of a sudden, HE WAVED!!! Yes, a stranger WAVED at me! If you recall from a previous e-mail, I told you that strangers don't acknowledge you here, it is not their custom and that really bothered me. I mean, even if you attempt to smile at them, they look away before you can complete the smile. I know this sounds uneventful to you but it made me smile all the way to McDonalds.
Speaking of McDonalds, I mentioned McDonalds during one of my lessons and my 3 students looked at me and each other like they had never heard of the place. I'm thinking, How could you not have heard of the place, they are on every corner. For every cockroach, there is a McDonalds! Then, when I made the sign of the arch, they said ,"OH! Mick-doe-nel-dose (with an accent on the "nel")!!! I said, "WHAT? What are you guys, Italian?" And they all laughed. I don't know if they laughed because they understood what I meant or they just figured I was teasing them so they went along with it. So if you ever come to Japan and you are looking for a McDonald's, say it with an Italian accent and they will point you in the right direction.
The boner-boy is back! Last night I was restlessly flipping through the channels and that one dumb show that I told you about was on AGAIN! This time, the two guys and the girl where on the beach spying on some girl. And as usual, they did close-up, freeze-frames on her butt (but she was wearing jeans). Then, when it got dark, the girl and her friends had sparklers that they were lighting and waving around on the beach. So they sent in boner-boy in his red shorts and sparklers. He danced all around waving the sparklers and sporting a woody and everyone laughed (even me, this time) and I wondered to myself how many times I could watch this show and laugh. Do boners ever stop being funny? I guess I might be able to answer my own question before I leave Japan. I'll let you know (that is, if the show doesn't get canceled before then).
OK, I'm off to Mickdoeneldoes (McDonald's). Thanks for the e-mails, keep'em coming!
Love me
I had a whole list of things that I wanted to write about but of course it is at home. The big news is that I now have the skinny on the seal...his name is Tomachan and he has made his way into some REALLY polluted lake. The big controversy is whether or not they should try to remove him from the crappy water. They have decided to leave him alone and keep an eye on him to see if his health starts to deteriorate. I'm sure you have all been on the edge of your seats waiting for THAT bit of news...
What else...OH, the Ghost of Cockroach Past paid a visit to me last night. When I walked into the house, I thought I saw a shadow out of the corner of my eye race into the silverware drawer. Sure enough, IT WAS HIM! He came back to haunt me. This time, I knew what to do though. I am mastering the art of coackroach killing, although I still refuse to squish him. But after a few laps around the couch-like-thing on the kitchen floor, I had him sprayed and sprawling on his back, gasping for one last breath. Then I swept him outside. I haven't checked on him today but there is a typhoon coming again so maybe he will get washed away.
After many hours of e-mailing yesterday, I treated myself to a somewhat expensive dinner. I was bound and determined to be satiated by at least ONE meal while I am here. So not only did I have a main course, I also had soup and dessert! The place was kind of cool. It was on the 3rd or 4th floor of a big department store over the train station. I think it was called the Green Tea Room. It was the Japanese version of a nice Italian restaurant and it overlooked Shinjuku. One whole wall is just a huge window so I asked for a window seat so I could people-watch while I waited for my meal. I am getting used to doing things by myself. Lots of people eat alone here, too, so it does not feel that weird. So that was my big eventful evening yesterday. Never did make it to the Emperial Gardens.
I had one breakthrough yesterday. I was walking down the street in Shinjuku and I saw a taxi along the side of the street and it was slowly rolling forward. It scared me at first because, at first glance, it looked like the driver had fallen asleep. He looked like he was about 50 or 60 years old and he had both arms wrapped around the steering wheel and his head resting on his arms. All you could see was 2 eyes peering over his arms. I looked at him as I was walking until I realized that he was not sleeping, then I smiled at him because the poor guy looked pathetic and tired and bored out of his gourd. So I just kept walking and smiling at him and then, all of a sudden, HE WAVED!!! Yes, a stranger WAVED at me! If you recall from a previous e-mail, I told you that strangers don't acknowledge you here, it is not their custom and that really bothered me. I mean, even if you attempt to smile at them, they look away before you can complete the smile. I know this sounds uneventful to you but it made me smile all the way to McDonalds.
Speaking of McDonalds, I mentioned McDonalds during one of my lessons and my 3 students looked at me and each other like they had never heard of the place. I'm thinking, How could you not have heard of the place, they are on every corner. For every cockroach, there is a McDonalds! Then, when I made the sign of the arch, they said ,"OH! Mick-doe-nel-dose (with an accent on the "nel")!!! I said, "WHAT? What are you guys, Italian?" And they all laughed. I don't know if they laughed because they understood what I meant or they just figured I was teasing them so they went along with it. So if you ever come to Japan and you are looking for a McDonald's, say it with an Italian accent and they will point you in the right direction.
The boner-boy is back! Last night I was restlessly flipping through the channels and that one dumb show that I told you about was on AGAIN! This time, the two guys and the girl where on the beach spying on some girl. And as usual, they did close-up, freeze-frames on her butt (but she was wearing jeans). Then, when it got dark, the girl and her friends had sparklers that they were lighting and waving around on the beach. So they sent in boner-boy in his red shorts and sparklers. He danced all around waving the sparklers and sporting a woody and everyone laughed (even me, this time) and I wondered to myself how many times I could watch this show and laugh. Do boners ever stop being funny? I guess I might be able to answer my own question before I leave Japan. I'll let you know (that is, if the show doesn't get canceled before then).
OK, I'm off to Mickdoeneldoes (McDonald's). Thanks for the e-mails, keep'em coming!
Love me
Monday, March 21, 2011
Letters from Japan: 8/30/02 Crisco and Japanese Twin Virgins
Hey Kids,
(I feel like I should apologize up front for the title.
It's really not what it sounds like. Just a "clever"
combination of subjects contained in this letter.
Blame Corey if you don't care for the titles. He
wanted them!)
Well, today I was going to go to the Imperial Gardens
but obviously, I came to the internet cafe instead.
My friend Chris was making fun of me last night for
being a loser at the cafe everyday instead of seeing
the sights so I decided last night that I would go to
the Imperial Gardens instead. That was actually the
plan until I went to Chofu to find the post office. I
decided it was so miserably hot that I would not enjoy
myself. The air here can be so hot and humid, it's
like trying to breath in cheese instead of air. I
don't know how many of you ever had the joy of working
the frier at Burger King but being outside for any
extended period of time leaves your face feeling much
like that of working the frier for a double shift.
Your skin gets this layer of sweat and oil that is
indescribable. I didn't know my skin could PRODUCE
this texture of oil. It's like a thin layer of
Crisco. By the end of the day, I completely disgust
myself. So I am passing on the Gardens today. I'll
save that for when Michael comes. We can be Crisco
Kids together.
So last night, I'm walking around Shinjuku waiting for
my friends to get off work. I figured they'd come
meet me here because this is the hap'nin place. Down
the road from the train station, there is usually some
type of musical entertainment on the street and last
night there ended up being a really cool ska band
playing. They had saxophones, trumpets, other horns
and all the basic stuff like drums, keyboards,
guitars, bass guitars. They were SO GOOD! A huge
group of people were gathered around. Just as I
discovered them, they get cut off by the police.
Apparently, you can't amplify anything. It all has to
be unplugged stuff so after one song, they got shut
down. I was a bit disappointed because I LOVE good
music but I decided to go shop in the GAP. You would
not believe how expensive the Gap is here. A pair of
pants costs $80.00!!! FROM THE GAP!??? GEEZ! So I
exited that place real quick. Then Chris called me to
say he was off work and to just meet in Chofu because
it was cheaper. Apparently, he has been partying a
bit too much and it running out of yen. We don't get
paid until the middle of next month.
So I caught the train to Chofu and met Chris. Poor
Paul missed the exit so he decided to keep on going
home. We all STILL struggle with train navigation.
So I found Chris and we went to go find some musicians
to listen to in the park. One guy with a guitar ran
over to us and said, "HEY, I SPEAK ENGLISH!" We ended
up chatting with him (his name is Hiroki) for the rest
of the night. He lived in Georgia for a year (he is
Japanese) so his English was pretty good. He taught
me a few swear words...and now I will pass the wisdom
on to you...kuso (pronounced kso!) means shit. That
is the only one I remember but it is a good one. The
kind of knowledge you can't gain from books is always
good stuff. Anyway, he was really cool to talk to. He
has a band that will be performing in October so he
invited us to that. He is only 18 so he was cute, very
curious what I thought about Japanese men and
women...do I think Japanese women are pretty? Do I
think he has a flat head? Do I think he looks like
Ian Tharpe (the Australian swimmer that Japanese
people IDOLIZE)? He was funny. So we yapped in the
park for about 2.5 hours, then we headed home. He is
going to look for a book for me that has all the Kanji
in it with English definitions. It is so hard to read
signs here because they combine 3 different writing
systems (hiragana, katakana, and kanji) They toss it
all together like tossed salad so even if you did
learn hiragana, you would still not be able to read
signs because they mix it with katakana and kanji.
That is why I have not even tried to learn any of the
writing.
It's funny. The longer I am here, the more "famous"
people I see. So far, I have seen a Japanese version
of John Devner, Robert Deniro, and Jane Seymour.
These people aren't TRYING to look like these
celebrities, they just DO. You know how they say we
all have a twin in this world? Well, now I am
convinced that we all have Japanese twins as well. I
have seen more, but those are the only ones I can
remember at the moment. I wish I could have taken a
picture of John Devner, though. YOu would have all
gotten a good laugh. It's nuts.
Another funny observation, people here wear tee-shirts
with American lingo on it but sometimes it doesn't
make any sense. For example, one guys shirt said
"World taste begins with this pack." WHAT? Another
girl"s shirt said "Let's have fun, Castboy." Another
girl's shirt said, "In the rainbow- the green into the
blue, the blue into the violet." There's a burger
joint next door to Virgin Records called Freshness
Burger. I called it Virgin Freshness on accident once
because I was telling my friend about the place and I
said, "I left Virgin Records" and walked next door to
"Virgin Freshness" for lunch. What the hell kind of
name is Freshness Burger??? If I had any shame, I
might have blushed at my mistake but instead, I
laughed my ass off. Nothing is better than cracking
YOURSELF up.
No more news, just had a man falling asleep on me on
the train yesterday. You ain't a true Jap until
you've fallen asleep sitting up on the train. It's
funny because EVERYONE sleeps on the train. They must
have all mastered the cat nap. You can look across
the train from you and see an entire row of people
with their heads bobbing around on their chests,
sometimes bumping into each other (like the man
yesterday bumping into me) If I hadn't moved my
shoulder, he would have plopped his head right down
there. I have to get a video camera...
OK, that's all for now. Maybe I will still make my
way to the Imperial Garden. I'll have to check the
temp. outside. Thanks for the e-mails. keep on
writing!
Love Rache
(I feel like I should apologize up front for the title.
It's really not what it sounds like. Just a "clever"
combination of subjects contained in this letter.
Blame Corey if you don't care for the titles. He
wanted them!)
Well, today I was going to go to the Imperial Gardens
but obviously, I came to the internet cafe instead.
My friend Chris was making fun of me last night for
being a loser at the cafe everyday instead of seeing
the sights so I decided last night that I would go to
the Imperial Gardens instead. That was actually the
plan until I went to Chofu to find the post office. I
decided it was so miserably hot that I would not enjoy
myself. The air here can be so hot and humid, it's
like trying to breath in cheese instead of air. I
don't know how many of you ever had the joy of working
the frier at Burger King but being outside for any
extended period of time leaves your face feeling much
like that of working the frier for a double shift.
Your skin gets this layer of sweat and oil that is
indescribable. I didn't know my skin could PRODUCE
this texture of oil. It's like a thin layer of
Crisco. By the end of the day, I completely disgust
myself. So I am passing on the Gardens today. I'll
save that for when Michael comes. We can be Crisco
Kids together.
So last night, I'm walking around Shinjuku waiting for
my friends to get off work. I figured they'd come
meet me here because this is the hap'nin place. Down
the road from the train station, there is usually some
type of musical entertainment on the street and last
night there ended up being a really cool ska band
playing. They had saxophones, trumpets, other horns
and all the basic stuff like drums, keyboards,
guitars, bass guitars. They were SO GOOD! A huge
group of people were gathered around. Just as I
discovered them, they get cut off by the police.
Apparently, you can't amplify anything. It all has to
be unplugged stuff so after one song, they got shut
down. I was a bit disappointed because I LOVE good
music but I decided to go shop in the GAP. You would
not believe how expensive the Gap is here. A pair of
pants costs $80.00!!! FROM THE GAP!??? GEEZ! So I
exited that place real quick. Then Chris called me to
say he was off work and to just meet in Chofu because
it was cheaper. Apparently, he has been partying a
bit too much and it running out of yen. We don't get
paid until the middle of next month.
So I caught the train to Chofu and met Chris. Poor
Paul missed the exit so he decided to keep on going
home. We all STILL struggle with train navigation.
So I found Chris and we went to go find some musicians
to listen to in the park. One guy with a guitar ran
over to us and said, "HEY, I SPEAK ENGLISH!" We ended
up chatting with him (his name is Hiroki) for the rest
of the night. He lived in Georgia for a year (he is
Japanese) so his English was pretty good. He taught
me a few swear words...and now I will pass the wisdom
on to you...kuso (pronounced kso!) means shit. That
is the only one I remember but it is a good one. The
kind of knowledge you can't gain from books is always
good stuff. Anyway, he was really cool to talk to. He
has a band that will be performing in October so he
invited us to that. He is only 18 so he was cute, very
curious what I thought about Japanese men and
women...do I think Japanese women are pretty? Do I
think he has a flat head? Do I think he looks like
Ian Tharpe (the Australian swimmer that Japanese
people IDOLIZE)? He was funny. So we yapped in the
park for about 2.5 hours, then we headed home. He is
going to look for a book for me that has all the Kanji
in it with English definitions. It is so hard to read
signs here because they combine 3 different writing
systems (hiragana, katakana, and kanji) They toss it
all together like tossed salad so even if you did
learn hiragana, you would still not be able to read
signs because they mix it with katakana and kanji.
That is why I have not even tried to learn any of the
writing.
It's funny. The longer I am here, the more "famous"
people I see. So far, I have seen a Japanese version
of John Devner, Robert Deniro, and Jane Seymour.
These people aren't TRYING to look like these
celebrities, they just DO. You know how they say we
all have a twin in this world? Well, now I am
convinced that we all have Japanese twins as well. I
have seen more, but those are the only ones I can
remember at the moment. I wish I could have taken a
picture of John Devner, though. YOu would have all
gotten a good laugh. It's nuts.
Another funny observation, people here wear tee-shirts
with American lingo on it but sometimes it doesn't
make any sense. For example, one guys shirt said
"World taste begins with this pack." WHAT? Another
girl"s shirt said "Let's have fun, Castboy." Another
girl's shirt said, "In the rainbow- the green into the
blue, the blue into the violet." There's a burger
joint next door to Virgin Records called Freshness
Burger. I called it Virgin Freshness on accident once
because I was telling my friend about the place and I
said, "I left Virgin Records" and walked next door to
"Virgin Freshness" for lunch. What the hell kind of
name is Freshness Burger??? If I had any shame, I
might have blushed at my mistake but instead, I
laughed my ass off. Nothing is better than cracking
YOURSELF up.
No more news, just had a man falling asleep on me on
the train yesterday. You ain't a true Jap until
you've fallen asleep sitting up on the train. It's
funny because EVERYONE sleeps on the train. They must
have all mastered the cat nap. You can look across
the train from you and see an entire row of people
with their heads bobbing around on their chests,
sometimes bumping into each other (like the man
yesterday bumping into me) If I hadn't moved my
shoulder, he would have plopped his head right down
there. I have to get a video camera...
OK, that's all for now. Maybe I will still make my
way to the Imperial Garden. I'll have to check the
temp. outside. Thanks for the e-mails. keep on
writing!
Love Rache
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Letters from Japan: 10/2/2002 "The Japanese Astronaut"
OK, this is still not my day off but I thought I would share a few things with you...
I told you about how I play the question game as a warm up with my students (or maybe I didn't...) Anyway, there is this cube with the question words who, what, where, when, how, and why on each side (one word per side). The student rolls the dice and has to ask another student a question using that word. I get bored with this because my students always ask the same questions..."How do you come to Nova?" "What time do you wake up?" "Where do you live?" "Who are you?" I hear these questions ALL THE TIME! So to mix things up a bit and make them stretch their brain cells, I started telling each class that they could not ask a question that they have asked in the past. I told them I was bored hearing the same questions. So now that I have thoroughly explained that they are not allowed to ask boring questions, I am all set to hear these new, wonderful, thought-provoking questions...I motion to the first student to roll the dice and ask this new and improved question...he rolls the dice and it lands on "When"...and the question he asks is..."When did you get up this morning?"...................................................(crickets in the background....)
I let the question go because he obviously didn't get my motivational speech on stretching his brain cells to new dimensions. But I am tenacious (remember Tenacious C?), and I continue with my motivational speech/plea for stimulating questions. Enter Kenji. Kenji is about 19 or 20 and a low level student. I have learned not to expect much from my low level students because they are still grappling with the basics. But I give my motivational "stretch your brain" speech anyway in hopes that there is a god. And here is what I get...Kenji rolls the dice and it lands on "Why." Now this question is usually the most difficult for students to form a question with. And usually I end up hearing the same question..."Why do you study English?" But Kenji is taking me to task...he sits for a minute in silence and I can see the wheels turning...finally he asks..."Why did God make human beings?" WHAT?!?! HOLY KUSO! THE EAGLE HAS LANDED! After picking my chin up off the ground, I almost jumped over the table to hug him! I am sure that you all are thinking I have flipped my bean (and maybe I have...) but it is one of those things that maybe only teachers can understand, when a student finally goes where no other student has gone before. After that question, our questions and answers only got better. It was magical. Yes, I am a dork.
Well, I told you that I had things to tell you but I guess I only have that ONE thing and I will save the rest for Friday when I have lots of time to write about Hakone. My latest news is that now my big sis is coming to visit me in 2 weeks. This means MORE WRITING MATERIAL!!! OK, that is all, goodbye for now. Love me
I told you about how I play the question game as a warm up with my students (or maybe I didn't...) Anyway, there is this cube with the question words who, what, where, when, how, and why on each side (one word per side). The student rolls the dice and has to ask another student a question using that word. I get bored with this because my students always ask the same questions..."How do you come to Nova?" "What time do you wake up?" "Where do you live?" "Who are you?" I hear these questions ALL THE TIME! So to mix things up a bit and make them stretch their brain cells, I started telling each class that they could not ask a question that they have asked in the past. I told them I was bored hearing the same questions. So now that I have thoroughly explained that they are not allowed to ask boring questions, I am all set to hear these new, wonderful, thought-provoking questions...I motion to the first student to roll the dice and ask this new and improved question...he rolls the dice and it lands on "When"...and the question he asks is..."When did you get up this morning?"...................................................(crickets in the background....)
I let the question go because he obviously didn't get my motivational speech on stretching his brain cells to new dimensions. But I am tenacious (remember Tenacious C?), and I continue with my motivational speech/plea for stimulating questions. Enter Kenji. Kenji is about 19 or 20 and a low level student. I have learned not to expect much from my low level students because they are still grappling with the basics. But I give my motivational "stretch your brain" speech anyway in hopes that there is a god. And here is what I get...Kenji rolls the dice and it lands on "Why." Now this question is usually the most difficult for students to form a question with. And usually I end up hearing the same question..."Why do you study English?" But Kenji is taking me to task...he sits for a minute in silence and I can see the wheels turning...finally he asks..."Why did God make human beings?" WHAT?!?! HOLY KUSO! THE EAGLE HAS LANDED! After picking my chin up off the ground, I almost jumped over the table to hug him! I am sure that you all are thinking I have flipped my bean (and maybe I have...) but it is one of those things that maybe only teachers can understand, when a student finally goes where no other student has gone before. After that question, our questions and answers only got better. It was magical. Yes, I am a dork.
Well, I told you that I had things to tell you but I guess I only have that ONE thing and I will save the rest for Friday when I have lots of time to write about Hakone. My latest news is that now my big sis is coming to visit me in 2 weeks. This means MORE WRITING MATERIAL!!! OK, that is all, goodbye for now. Love me
Friday, March 18, 2011
Letters from Japan: 10/1/2002 "Hazed and Confused"
Hey kids,
This will be fast because there is too much to write about, I will need to write on my day off (if I don't go to Kamakura). Also, there is a typhoon coming. It is the biggest one to hit Japan since WWII. So my student warned me that if I leave the internet cafe at 10:00pm, I will "fry." What he meant is that I will "fly" because the winds are so strong that I will be blown away. Anyway, my "romantic" trip with Michael to Hakone was a bust. I will write in detail later but let me just say that the fog was so thick during our "sight-seeing tour" that I might as well have had cataracts. Just imagine the recorded voice of a tour guide saying, "And to your left is the majestical Mt. Fuji..." and I look to my left and all I can see is pure white virgin freshness (see previous e-mails for explanation) and maybe some Pringle crumbs on Michael's lower lip. So we had a recording of all the things we COULD be seeing IF it weren't for the fog. The ENTIRE sight-seeing tour was spent hopping from one mode of transportation to the next, traveling through a dense white cloud. I have decided that heaven might not be that cool of a place after all. It was so ridiculous, it was one of those times that I wished my mom and sister were there because we would have gotten the serious pee-your-pants laughs over the ridiculousness of it all.
Anyway, I will write more later about our adventures but that was the gist of our trip to Hakone. Write soon.
Love me
(This picture gives you a little flavor of our "sight-seeing" adventure)
This will be fast because there is too much to write about, I will need to write on my day off (if I don't go to Kamakura). Also, there is a typhoon coming. It is the biggest one to hit Japan since WWII. So my student warned me that if I leave the internet cafe at 10:00pm, I will "fry." What he meant is that I will "fly" because the winds are so strong that I will be blown away. Anyway, my "romantic" trip with Michael to Hakone was a bust. I will write in detail later but let me just say that the fog was so thick during our "sight-seeing tour" that I might as well have had cataracts. Just imagine the recorded voice of a tour guide saying, "And to your left is the majestical Mt. Fuji..." and I look to my left and all I can see is pure white virgin freshness (see previous e-mails for explanation) and maybe some Pringle crumbs on Michael's lower lip. So we had a recording of all the things we COULD be seeing IF it weren't for the fog. The ENTIRE sight-seeing tour was spent hopping from one mode of transportation to the next, traveling through a dense white cloud. I have decided that heaven might not be that cool of a place after all. It was so ridiculous, it was one of those times that I wished my mom and sister were there because we would have gotten the serious pee-your-pants laughs over the ridiculousness of it all.
Anyway, I will write more later about our adventures but that was the gist of our trip to Hakone. Write soon.
Love me
(This picture gives you a little flavor of our "sight-seeing" adventure)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Letters from Japan: 9/26/02: "Mamasaymamasamamakusa"
Originally titled "I can't think of a title because the people next to me are yapping..."
Hey Kids,
I thought I was going to take it easy today but Paul called last night to suggest we go to Asakusa instead of Kamkura. So I rolled out of bed at 10:00am (against the wishes of every fiber of my body) and caught the train to Shinjuku to meet him at Virgin Records (NOT Virgin Freshness). From there we jumped on the JR and went to Asakusa which ended up being very cool. I took a lot of pictures that I HAVE to get developed SOON so that I know that they turned out before I leave the country. When we first got off the train, I'm like, "Ah...did we even leave Shinjuku?" because it just looked like another HUGE city. But tucked away inside this modern-day-metropolis were these incredible ancient Japanese temples. This is what I had EXPECTED to see when I stepped off the plane a month ago. There was this big cauldron-looking-thing in the middle of the walk way between temples that people were standing all around waving their arms over. And smoke was pouring from the
cauldron. I asked Paul what that was all about. Apparently, you buy these sticks that are kinda like incense and they come in a bundle of about 10. You put them in the sand in the cauldron and they burn and give off a lot of smelly smoke and you rub the smoke all over you and it absolves you of bad stuff or brings you luck or something. Then inside the biggest temple, people were tossing coins into some funky
metal thing and praying (God don't work for free, you know) and beyond this pay-to-pray area, there was a huge, extravagantly decorated area where I think you
could pay extra to pray some more. It was awesome to look at but i don't know if my pictures turned out because there was a big fence-type-thing that separated the high-paying-holy-rollers from the cheap, coin-tossing chumps. But it was nice to finally see some ancient Japanese stuff and explore another part of Tokyo. I forgot that I felt like crap there for a while. Maybe I stood close enough to the burning
cauldron that the good-luck smoke cured me momentarily.
After Asakusa, we took a train to Ginza which is supposed to be like the Beverly Hills of Japan with expensive, fancy-shmancy stores. I don't even know why we went there because we spent more time waiting in line for the money machine than we did exploring the area. It was Paul's idea to go and his idea to leave so I just went along with whatever he felt like doing. He is a hard nut to crack, can't figure him out. He gave me a little insight the other day at lunch when he told me about his ex=girlfriend whom he is still in love with but has been broken up with for at least a year but still talks to almost everyday. He said he has been depressed for a long time but now he is perking up because she is showing signs of interest again. So that explains his darkness but it still doesn't explain the strange outbursts of goofiness he has. they aren't things I can explain, you just have to be there to understand what I mean about his goofiness. He just doesn't have any problem acting crazy in public. He took some pictures with his digital camera that he said he will forward me so maybe I will be able to send a few pictures of our adventures in Asakusa (everytime I say "Asakusa," I get that Michael Jackson song in my head that goes "Mama-say-mama-sa-mamakusa, mama-say-mama-sa-mamakusa!" Am I the only one?
When we got back to Shinjuku, I had Paul take me to the Odakyu travel booth and help me buy my tickets for Hakone. If this place is HALF as beautiful as the brochures, I may wet myself. Along with my tickets, I got free passes to ride all the different modes of transportation around Hakone which includes sight-seeing ships, gondolas, cable cars, and ropeways. Ropeways (for those who don't know...I
didn't know) are these ski-type things (like a ski-lift but it is a metal box you ride in) that carry you high above the land and up mountains on so you can get a bird's eye-view. The train you take to get to Hakone is called the "Romance" train so I guess this place is supposed to be really romantic. I'll spare you an details regarding that but in case you ever come to Japan with your love, I guess this is the
place to go.
I guess that is all for now. I am picking Michael up from the airport tomorrow afternoon (if I can find the train to get there) so you will be hearing from me
again in 4 or 5 days. Hopefully by then, Paul will have also sent pictures that I can e-mail to you.
Thanks for your e-mails!
Love Rachel
(Me and Paul in Asakusa...I think...)
Hey Kids,
I thought I was going to take it easy today but Paul called last night to suggest we go to Asakusa instead of Kamkura. So I rolled out of bed at 10:00am (against the wishes of every fiber of my body) and caught the train to Shinjuku to meet him at Virgin Records (NOT Virgin Freshness). From there we jumped on the JR and went to Asakusa which ended up being very cool. I took a lot of pictures that I HAVE to get developed SOON so that I know that they turned out before I leave the country. When we first got off the train, I'm like, "Ah...did we even leave Shinjuku?" because it just looked like another HUGE city. But tucked away inside this modern-day-metropolis were these incredible ancient Japanese temples. This is what I had EXPECTED to see when I stepped off the plane a month ago. There was this big cauldron-looking-thing in the middle of the walk way between temples that people were standing all around waving their arms over. And smoke was pouring from the
cauldron. I asked Paul what that was all about. Apparently, you buy these sticks that are kinda like incense and they come in a bundle of about 10. You put them in the sand in the cauldron and they burn and give off a lot of smelly smoke and you rub the smoke all over you and it absolves you of bad stuff or brings you luck or something. Then inside the biggest temple, people were tossing coins into some funky
metal thing and praying (God don't work for free, you know) and beyond this pay-to-pray area, there was a huge, extravagantly decorated area where I think you
could pay extra to pray some more. It was awesome to look at but i don't know if my pictures turned out because there was a big fence-type-thing that separated the high-paying-holy-rollers from the cheap, coin-tossing chumps. But it was nice to finally see some ancient Japanese stuff and explore another part of Tokyo. I forgot that I felt like crap there for a while. Maybe I stood close enough to the burning
cauldron that the good-luck smoke cured me momentarily.
After Asakusa, we took a train to Ginza which is supposed to be like the Beverly Hills of Japan with expensive, fancy-shmancy stores. I don't even know why we went there because we spent more time waiting in line for the money machine than we did exploring the area. It was Paul's idea to go and his idea to leave so I just went along with whatever he felt like doing. He is a hard nut to crack, can't figure him out. He gave me a little insight the other day at lunch when he told me about his ex=girlfriend whom he is still in love with but has been broken up with for at least a year but still talks to almost everyday. He said he has been depressed for a long time but now he is perking up because she is showing signs of interest again. So that explains his darkness but it still doesn't explain the strange outbursts of goofiness he has. they aren't things I can explain, you just have to be there to understand what I mean about his goofiness. He just doesn't have any problem acting crazy in public. He took some pictures with his digital camera that he said he will forward me so maybe I will be able to send a few pictures of our adventures in Asakusa (everytime I say "Asakusa," I get that Michael Jackson song in my head that goes "Mama-say-mama-sa-mamakusa, mama-say-mama-sa-mamakusa!" Am I the only one?
When we got back to Shinjuku, I had Paul take me to the Odakyu travel booth and help me buy my tickets for Hakone. If this place is HALF as beautiful as the brochures, I may wet myself. Along with my tickets, I got free passes to ride all the different modes of transportation around Hakone which includes sight-seeing ships, gondolas, cable cars, and ropeways. Ropeways (for those who don't know...I
didn't know) are these ski-type things (like a ski-lift but it is a metal box you ride in) that carry you high above the land and up mountains on so you can get a bird's eye-view. The train you take to get to Hakone is called the "Romance" train so I guess this place is supposed to be really romantic. I'll spare you an details regarding that but in case you ever come to Japan with your love, I guess this is the
place to go.
I guess that is all for now. I am picking Michael up from the airport tomorrow afternoon (if I can find the train to get there) so you will be hearing from me
again in 4 or 5 days. Hopefully by then, Paul will have also sent pictures that I can e-mail to you.
Thanks for your e-mails!
Love Rachel
(Me and Paul in Asakusa...I think...)
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Letters from Japan: 9/22/02 "Domo, Doko, Dodo"
Hey Kids,
I'm taking off for dinner soon but I didn't want to break my streak of writing emails so I thought I would tell you my quick DOKO story. It's nothing big, just more of my own stupidity. They are currently constructing that seat for me on all the trains next to the pregnant women and half-dead people. I think they will give me a drool catcher, too. OK, here goes. So I have decided to try to use at least a LITTLE Japanese while I am here. You know, at least say "thank you" in Japanese. How hard can it be? You don't have to say the whole "Domo arigato, Mister Roboto" phrase either. You can just say "domo"(Hiroki taught me that...remember the t-shirt guy?) So the other day I was in Family Mart (my home away from home) buying my usual (rice, eggs, and chocolate). I made my purchase and said my magic word after he handed me my change and bag. The conversation sounded like this to a Japanese person...
Cashier: "Three dollars is your change. Have a nice day."
Rachel: "Where?"
HUH??!! I didn't realize until AFTER the guy corrected me, and said "domo," that I had said "DOKO" which means "WHERE." I wonder how far away I was from the store before the guy burst out laughing. What an idiot! You would think that I could say ONE SIMPLE WORD in Japanese! Then I started wondering how many times I had made this embarrassing mistake. I don't even want to know. Let me continue to live in my own world of ignorant bliss...I quite like it here (do I sound British?)
OK, I'm getting hungry so we're heading out! OH! One more thing, my roommate is moving out in 2 days...YIPPEEE!! Fortunately, I get to spend 2 more exciting days and nights with her and Squirrel Boy. He is coming over tonight...I CAN'T WAIT! She is actually not that bad, she just doesn't have much of a personality so it's like rooming with a slug. A slug with a squirrel for a boyfriend. She can talk, though. She can actually talk quite a bit, just don't expect any comedy. The good thing is, she doesn't mind too much when I humor myself during the conversation, I think she may have even laughed once or twice this past month. But she hates teaching and she hates her students and she is struggling so I guess that may detract from a person's "fun factor" rating.
Ok, NOW I am done. Write soon.
Love Rachel
I'm taking off for dinner soon but I didn't want to break my streak of writing emails so I thought I would tell you my quick DOKO story. It's nothing big, just more of my own stupidity. They are currently constructing that seat for me on all the trains next to the pregnant women and half-dead people. I think they will give me a drool catcher, too. OK, here goes. So I have decided to try to use at least a LITTLE Japanese while I am here. You know, at least say "thank you" in Japanese. How hard can it be? You don't have to say the whole "Domo arigato, Mister Roboto" phrase either. You can just say "domo"(Hiroki taught me that...remember the t-shirt guy?) So the other day I was in Family Mart (my home away from home) buying my usual (rice, eggs, and chocolate). I made my purchase and said my magic word after he handed me my change and bag. The conversation sounded like this to a Japanese person...
Cashier: "Three dollars is your change. Have a nice day."
Rachel: "Where?"
HUH??!! I didn't realize until AFTER the guy corrected me, and said "domo," that I had said "DOKO" which means "WHERE." I wonder how far away I was from the store before the guy burst out laughing. What an idiot! You would think that I could say ONE SIMPLE WORD in Japanese! Then I started wondering how many times I had made this embarrassing mistake. I don't even want to know. Let me continue to live in my own world of ignorant bliss...I quite like it here (do I sound British?)
OK, I'm getting hungry so we're heading out! OH! One more thing, my roommate is moving out in 2 days...YIPPEEE!! Fortunately, I get to spend 2 more exciting days and nights with her and Squirrel Boy. He is coming over tonight...I CAN'T WAIT! She is actually not that bad, she just doesn't have much of a personality so it's like rooming with a slug. A slug with a squirrel for a boyfriend. She can talk, though. She can actually talk quite a bit, just don't expect any comedy. The good thing is, she doesn't mind too much when I humor myself during the conversation, I think she may have even laughed once or twice this past month. But she hates teaching and she hates her students and she is struggling so I guess that may detract from a person's "fun factor" rating.
Ok, NOW I am done. Write soon.
Love Rachel
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