YAAAAAAAAWWWWWWNNNNNN!
Why am I yawning, you ask? I had the pleasant
experience of being awakened this morning on my ONE
DAY OFF by a knock-knock-knockin' at my door. Before
you read the answer to "Who was it?" take a
guess...who will find you no matter where you hide?
Let me give you another hint...the first words out of
her mouth were, "We are here to talk about how to
share encouraging words with others." Now granted,
this is not the USUAL opening line, but it may have
been tweaked a bit by Japanese folks. I shared a few
encouraging words of my own with her and closed the
door (not really, but it sounded funny, I just said
that now is not a good time). Now if you still
haven't guessed, consider yourself fortunate or well
hidden. OK, one more guess..."Watch Tower"...YES!
Japanese Jehovah's Witnesses! AUGH!!! After that
disturbing experience, I couldn't go back to sleep so
I decided to get up and make my way to Virgin Records
to begin composing my LOOOONG e-mail about my
adventures with Michael.
I hopped the train to Chofu and got off to wait
for the express train to Shinjuku. I was only on the
platform for 2 minutes before an American came up to
me and immediately the hairs on the back of my neck
stood up..."Have you heard about the 'Truth?'" WHAT?!
ANOTHER ONE?!!! They are invading Japan like
COCKROACHES! I said, "Yeah, I know all about the
truth. The truth is, you people are really pissin' me
off (again, I didn't really say that, but it would
have been funny). I did tell her that some of her
friends already paid me a visit this morning and I
wasn't interested in what they had to say. Of course,
like any good sales-person, she pressed on to find out
what I knew about Jehovah's Witnesses and I told her
my biological father is one and he is a big fat loser
like all other weak-brained "Witnesses" (again...I
exaggerate...) At this point, I think she knew that
she was fighting a losing battle but she didn't know
how to walk away gracefully so she decided to fumble
through her "encouraging" words until the express
train came. I wanted to tell her that a lot of truth
can be found in some good saki but instead I got on
the train and was thankful that my accostment (made-up word) was
short-lived.
OK, there is not much of a segue here because
this originally was just going to be all about
Michael's visit so now I am just going to switch gears
and go back to last Friday. Michael's plane was
arriving at 4:00pm and i had no clue how to get to the
airport so I decided to start the journey at noon. I
could have taken the Narita Express directly to the
airport and not worried about a thing but I was
feeling cheap (it costs $30 just to get there) and
adventurous so I was going to figure out a way to get
there just riding the cheap trains. I decided that I
would be SMART about it though and take along my EXTRA
LARGE map of the JR lines. This was a map that NOVA
gave to me when I first came here. So off I went with
my huge map in a plastic bag (it was too big to fit in
my purse) and my umbrella (it was a miserable day).
The first train was easy, just hop a train to
Shinjuku. But then it started to get tricky. There
are many trains that leave from Shinjuku and the real
trick was finding the one that went east. The first
train I got on went by the first stop and I looked at
my map to see that I was going in the right direction,
but by the second stop, I discovered I was going
south, so I jumped off the train, went back to Shijuku
and said, "OK, let's try this again..." I walked
around until I found the Chuo line and hopped on
again. Well, this train was a local train and stopped
at EVERY stop. At this rate, it will take FOREVER to
get there. So I hop off a couple stops down to catch
the express train. I find the express train and jump
on and pull out my map. as it turns out, the express
line bypasses the next station that I need to go to,
so I have to get off the train and go back and catch
the local one again so that i can get to the correct
station. Now once I am at this last station, I breath
a sigh of relief knowing that I will be riding this
train all the way to the last train that will take me
to the airport. I didn't sleep a wink the night
before, so I find a nice seat and close my eyes,
knowing that I have a long ride ahead of me. i don't
need to pay attention to things for a while...or so I
thought. After about 20 minutes, I realize that the
train has been stopped at this particular station for
quite a while. I open my eyes and look around and
ONCE AGAIN, I find that I am the only person sitting
on the train (how does this keep happening to me?) I
jump up and as I am about to get off, I look to my
right and in the other car, I see someone sitting
there. So I decide that maybe I am OK after all, and I
sit back down. About 2 minutes later, a few more
people get on and the train closes its doors and I
close my eyes and take a breath, ready to continue
with my cat nap. OK, wait a minute. Something
doesn't feel right. Are we going in the opposite
direction? The next station we come to sounds very
familiar..IT'S FAMILIAR BECAUSE WE JUST STOPPED THERE
10 MINUTES AGO!!!!!! The train is heading back to
Shinjuku! HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN???!!! So I
jump off at the next stop and wait for the next train
and go BACK to where I had just come from and realize
that even though the map shows the train line going
all the way to Chiba, IT LIED!!! I have to hop
another train across the platform to get to Chiba.
OK, now I am on the right train, but I think I'll keep
my eyes open for the rest of the way. I finally make
it to the LAST train stop before the Narita Airport
train that goes directly to the airport. But unlike
all the other trains that come by every 5 minutes or
so, this train only comes by every HOUR! So I have 40
minutes to wait in the freezing cold. I pull out my
map to inspect the situation again. Ihe immensity of
my map draws attention and soon I have a Canadian guy
asking me about it. He said that the only maps he can
find are written in Kanji and Hiragana. He writes
down the phone number on my map so he can call and
order himself one and we begin to talk. He says he is
in Japan just exploring, having life adventures (how
can so many kids afford to do that these days?) I
tell him about Michael and how we are going to Hakone
and he pulls out his map to try to find Hakone. He
decides to ask the old Japanese lady next to us where
Hakone is on his map. So she starts talking to us
until their train comes. We say our good-byes and
they get on their train. I turn my back and start
looking for my train, hoping that there is a mistake
in the schedule and that I won't have to wait 40
minutes. A minute later, I hear, "Excuse me" and I
turn around to see the same little Japanese lady that
I was just talking to. Apparently, her train is on a
schedule so it is sitting there for 5 or 10 more
minutes, so she has decided to come back out and talk
with me. She is so cute. She tells me that she used
to teach English for many years at a high school until
her husband got sick. She tells me that she is very
excited to talk with me and practice her English with
an American. We talk until the last boarding call and
she thanks me for talking to her and tells me that I
am a very nice person. And she climbs on her train
and leaves.
Fifteen minutes later, my train comes and I climb
on thinking- MAN, this train is WAY better than all
those trains I have been riding...nice, plush seats
that recline...aaaahhhhh! I think I will take another
cat nap...then, five minutes into my ride..."Ticket
please!" WHAT? What do you mean TICKET? I fumble
through my purse and show him what I KNOW is not the
ticket he wants and he gestures for me to get up and
follow him. I am booted to the cheap seats in the
adjoining car, treated like a second class citizen, a
peasant, if you will, a stupid foreigner trying to
sneak into the luxury section. All the other peasants
turn to see who this outlaw is, this curious American
being escorted out of the luxury car and into the
cheap seats. I find a seat on the familiar orange
velvet bench seat, trying to look confident and
unaffected. HOW WAS I TO KNOW?
What should have taken me about 2 hours was a 4
hour ordeal but I managed to make it to the airport
before Michael climbed off the plane. I find Michael
with no problem and we get his money converted into
yen and find the Narita Express to take us back to
Shinjuku. I have decided not to take the cheap route
back with Michael. He may kill me before we reach the
station. He says he doesn't mind paying extra to just
take a direct train so we buy our tickets (which only
ended up being $16 a piece. I thought they were more
expensive...) We find our way to the Narita Express
platform and hang out for a while until the train
comes. Again, this train is much more luxurious than
all the trains I have been hopping on and off of all
day and once again, I sink into a comfy seat, this
time, without guilt because we have paid the piper up
front...or so we thought...
Ten minutes into the ride..."Tickets, please!"
We pull out our tickets and we are in the wrong
section, AGAIN! But instead of being banished to the
peasant section, the guy rings up a few things on his
handy-dandy little piece of hand-held electronic
equipment and tells us to give him a million more
dollars (actually about $40 or $50 more). Michael
says not to worry about it and pays and we stay in our
plush seats and talk and relax the rest of the way
(accept for when Michael thought he was going to get
motion sickness from the train). And so begins our
first day together.
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